Weighing in.

I have stayed the same. Last week I knew I lost, but didn't get to weigh in. This week I knew I gained. The net result is no downward movement for the last three weeks. And now I leave for vacation.

Of course my plan is to run every day. Swim in the ocean. Eat healthy foods. Read, Read, Read.

You know what they say about plans. I will try to keep everything in perspective and have a good time. See you in a week.

I am still here...

The week / weekend was hectic, but fun and I am glad it is over. Other than vacation, it was the last major committment of the season. Of course, I had to throw my back out this morning and that will make my day less than enjoyable, but I am hoping that massage and alleive will get me back to normal. The wedding was lovely, aside from the torrential downpour that moved things inside. I got to hang out with my dear friends Amy and Steve who I haven't seen in 4 years since we moved thousands of miles apart and both have small kids that don't travel well. It's funny how you just pick up where you left off... I laughed all weekend!!

And now after all the fun, I am going to DETOX . I can honestly say that I did not log food, and I wasn't mindful of what I put in my mouth.... Not exactly habits of someone wishing to maintain a healthy weight.... It will be something I continue to work on for the rest of my life!

As for exercise, I am going to try and get to the gym this morning to see if I can at least do the elliptical with my back. I was supposed to run, but I will cover the 4 miles planned regardless. I am on a wait list for tomorrows spin class, but odds of getting in are good. My kids are out of school, so I know that I will be "active" whether I like it or not. The triathlon is a month away and I really need to focus on training. I need to get in the water and SWIM --- I am hoping that it will stop raining at some point so I can do it in the open water... I have a panic problem swimming open water that I really need to re-conquer before the big day... It is my single biggest anxiety about triathlon and it is stupid!

Just make it til Sunday...

This is the week I've been looking forward to ... dreading... Can't wait to see everyone... can't wait til it's over... I've been cleaning my house for what seems an eternity, trying to repair a disgusting bath tub in a bathroom that's just begging for a total makeover. My kids are following behind me creating new and exciting messes --- Did you know a dresser makes an excellent doll hospital ---- when there are NO CLOTHES in it????

Company will be here tomorrow. My DH is working like a dog at the new "suck it up" job, and I appreciate that he's giving it the old college try... Our dear friends that have been dating/living together for the better part of 17 years are getting married on Friday night. I know it will be fun, I know I need to relax, but as usual I am my PSYCHO self.

At least there is less of me... My diet has really taken a turn for the better. I've been on track and the scale is moving DOWN. I worked out 6 of 7 days last week; and while I know I may not make it to the gym at all this week, I could hardly consider myself slacking... vacuuming, scrubbing, mulching, mowing, and hauling laundry up and downstairs has got to account for something.

I love summer, but can you turn down the heat?

Too much too soon.

Maintaining

I weigh exactly the same.... Hmph! It is definately better than gaining, I ate a heck of a lot this weekend regardless of how on track I've been for the last 4 days... Next week - There is ALWAYS next week. (I wish the scale gods could have thrown me just a little bone...)

I feel good. I feel like I am capable of sticking to what I've done since monday... trying to keep within a 1600 calorie range... Yes, I know I said 1200, but I really think that is NOT for me.

On exercise, I am doing really well this week. I have run, spun and did an unexpected muscle conditioning class last night. I can tell how long it has been since I did anything meaningful with weights... I am SORE today, I can only imagine how Spin will feel tomorrow. I have talked my sister into joining me. She's never taken a class, but has wanted to - since I can't stop talking about how much I like it. We're going to try and swim a quick 1200 after class -- I have a 90 min limit with the kids in 'child watch'. I am looking forward to a good work out. I am being so non chalant about the Danskin this year... actually kind of lazy... I hope I can step it up the next four weeks so I don't feel like a huge loser come race day.

Keeping it all together...

Today is a day. I am trying pretty hard to keep my kids from making me CRAZY. They were up late last night for a school play, and up at the crack of dawn for no reason. It is close to 5 p.m., I am doing my best to keep the little one from taking a nap and the 6 year old is crying hysterically because it's raining and she can't go outside... I don't get it... I feel absolutely bewildered. There is absolutely NOTHING I can do... I could try putting her in her room, but that would only cause things to escalate. Believe me, my 6 year old can throw a MONSTER of a tantrum... I don't think I could deal with it today. My parents spanked me, but I honestly don't see the point --- other than the stress release it would give me.... believe me - I've thought about it. Parenting is TOUGH.

I am surprised that I haven't been to the kitchen over this. I am glad to be writing this so that I don't have to go to the kitchen. I am weighing in tomorrow and I am not going to show a gain -- especially since I've redeemed myself over the last 4 days. I am less than 4 pounds away from my lowest weight of the last year. I need to get there by vacation... I have two more weeks... I know I can do this. Exercise has been good. Today we were at the park all morning, but tomorrow I have a FAST 3 mile run planned. My record is 34 minutes... Pathetic to some I am sure, but I am SLOW always, and anything sub 12 is a VERY VERY good day.

A lot of work to do...

Done. Graduation party over. Wedding shower OVER. It was a LONG weekend and I am happy to have it behind me. I did not exercise. I did not eat on program. I did write it down in SparkPeople. It was NOT pretty. Yesterday I tried to get back on track. My calories were 1600, still more than the 1200 that I had planned on. I am going to shoot for that today and for the rest of the week. My next stressor is the company coming on the 20th and the wedding festivities that follow. I am already anxious. I really need to go to the gym.

My plan for the week is to run 4 miles today; Tuesday - spin, Wednesday - off, or swim, Thursday - spin, Friday - spin. It's a lot of spinning, but I think it is the kick in the butt I need this week. Going to class makes me workout hard for the total 60 min. I recognize that I am going through a major slacker phase...

My sister joined WW with me and she's lost over 10 lbs in 3 weeks. She's completely immersed in this program and I am JEALOUS. I admit it, I want her mojo and I don't want her to leave me in the dust! I am happy for her and hating her at the same time. It's not a very pretty picture.
I know that I have to concentrate on ME and what I am doing. I know that if I acutally change my eating habits I will lose weight. It makes no sense that I still don't get it after all these years. Yes, I have a lot of work to do.

Craving...

I wish my desire to be thinner would out weigh my cravings for a lobster roll and potato chips. Could I be satisfied with a small? Not at 6 p.m. with 2 screaming kids and a desire to eat anything and everything. I settled on a medium. I ate one half.... and then an hour later, ate the other.... I logged it in SparkPeople. It put me into next monday's calorie allotment...

I have a graduation party this afternoon, followed by the bridal shower tonight. I am stressed about who will walk my dog - my kids are off with Grandma. I always need something to worry about. On top of it all, it is raining AGAIN. I can not tell you how it sucks the life right out of me. I've been thinking about the fact that I have been up since 5 a.m. - it's 8:15 and I've done nothing but drink coffee. I even gave the kids granola bars and bananas - there's your breakfast... What the heck is up with me?! It's warm enough outside - I could be riding my bike. I could have driven out to my sister's to work out... I could have just run with the dog.... I know it is my time of the month, but I really hate to use that as an excuse... I should be better prepared. It's not like it's some big surprise that my hormones are all out of whack.... I shouldn't let it consume me and ruin my diet on top of it, every single month!

WW Day and a loss!

Down 1.8 !! Hooray!! It's been 3 weeks since I've seen a loss, and while I honestly hoped for more - a loss is a loss and this week I want to do better. I've got a few committments this weekend (a graduation, a wedding shower) but hopefully I will make some good choices.

Two weeks til vacation and I really REALLY want to be in new territory - weight wise. I am still losing what I gained during marathon training, but I only have 3.5 lbs to go until I see a *new* number with lots more to come. I am pretty motivated right now - I know I can do it!!

I am also keeping to my training schedule. I ran today and did the elliptical for a combined 60 minutes. My knee is on the fritz again so I am trying to take it easy. Tomorrow is another spin Nazi session, and then a 20+ mile bike ride Saturday with my friend, Sara. My weakness is definately the running. I really have dreaded it since the marathon and I don't know why. I would really like to get some speed workouts in, but the thought of actually going to the track makes me ill.... I need to talk the sibs into it so I can't back out... We're all booked up this weekend so we'll have to try for next weekend!

Daisy is healing, my guilt about slicing her neck is subsiding --- though my DH won't stop teasing me!.

Swimming... Food.... and Little Miss Daisy...

I really like to swim. It used to be my best event in the triathlon, but now I am feeling stale. I think I need to join a masters swim group where there is some sort of interaction/ instruction/feedback. I know how to swim- I feel like my form is OK - I flip turn with relative comfort and ... I am not getting any faster.

Today is spin with the infamous SPIN NAZI. Food journaling is good - though I am still on the high side of my calories... I really need to work on my pm snacking. I would like to think that I could do a week of WW meals, but preparing stuff for the kids really messes it up for me. I also don't like the message it sends to my girls. Don't do what I do..... Gosh I really hope they don't have food issues.

And something totally unrelated to health and fitness...

Last friday I tried to cut the matted hair off my dogs chin and cut her. It bled, I performed first aid and got the bleeding to stop. She has long hair which kept me from seeing the cut. I called the vet. The girl at the desk, who I've known since we got Daisy told me as long as the bleeding stopped she'd be fine. I could put some neosporin on it. The dog could have cared less. She wanted to play. She was fine all weekend. Yesterday Daisy had her annual shots so I asked the vet to look at the cut. By his reaction you'd think I had attempted murder! Without a word he got the clippers, shaved her neck and said " I want you to see what you did. This needs to be sutured - it will never heal!" I keep telling myself that he's a vet and not an MD for a reason. NO PEOPLE SKILLS. Can I tell you how crappy I felt? still feel?? She's back to the vet this morning to get fixed. I am still expecting a call from DOGGY DSS about my pet parenting....

Back to the task at hand...

This weekend was actually pretty good. It rained steady on Saturday so we went to the gym - ran three miles and did upper body weights. Sunday was an 18.7 mile ride with the siblings and a 3 mile run. 13.6 mph pace, 1:24 time for the bike - 34 minutes for the run. I did not walk, although my legs were HEAVY for the first mile or so... I am happy with my performance. Today is a swim day. There is a question as to whether or not I'll make it, though I have good intentions.

I have logged ALL of my food and am conciously making better choices; considering nutrition, calories, fuel. I really want to see a new number this week - maintaining is getting OLD (though it is better than gaining). I've got support, I've got purpose. I lick this weight issue!

I have to keep focus. A lot is going on over the next two weeks - graduations, wedding shower, wedding, company, vacation. I just have to remember what's coming.... I can not wait to be sitting on the beach at Assateague watching to ponies and playing with my kids; hopefully DH will be there - but I will not dwell.

Just a RANT

My husband hates his job. He's been there for 8 weeks and wants to leave. It is a big company. It is a great company. They have a pension!

At the park a few days ago, my kids were captivated by the man cleaning the port o johns. He pumped them out, hosed them down... I thought "that's got to be the #$%&-iest job ever!"

I want to be supportive of my husband, but there are times when I just feel like -SUCK IT UP! This is what you have to do if you want to make the big bucks. It sure beats sucking #$%$ out of a port of john! At his last job, hardly a week went by when we weren't worried about lay offs. In fact, by the time he left in March only 3 out of 10 team members were still there. It put a pit in my stomach to think of not having a pay check coming in. We are not wreckless with our money, but with me staying home with the kids and the bills going up up up, we barely seem to make it at the end of the month. I hope I am just a sounding board for him and that he can be a little less gloom and doom on the job. Everyone has a jerk for a boss and whole mess of weirdos as co-workers. I really think you need to look at the long term potential of where ever you are and if it means putting up with a few months of misery -so be it. Am I cold-hearted? Obviously I can not say these things to my poor DH. I know he needs to vent, and I know that I can not make him feel any differently than he does. I want to be supportive, but I also want to protect our family. Give it a year I say.... Give it a year.....

Weight Watchers Day

I made it back to WW today after a miss last week. AND I stayed the same... AGAIN.... I don't mind though, because I know I did not follow the program. I wrote everything down and frankly 2000+ calories a day is pretty much what I need to maintain. I have a plan for my triathlon and a new plan for the weight loss thing so June will hopefully yield some better results. Today at the gym I ran 2.6 miles/30 minutes, 18 laps/20 minute freestyle swim. I felt a wee bit sluggish, but was happy to complete the workout and get a shower.

My dryer is fixed. I have a fridge stocked with veggies and other NON PROCESSED fare. I feel good.