Moving on....

This morning I decided to get myself together. This Christmas will be one I will never forget. It will probably not be so merry at times, but my family and I are blessed and my father would want us to celebrate that fact and live on. It’s going to take some work…

I haven’t felt up to a regular gym schedule. I made it to spin once last week and I skated with the kids a few times. My morning walks with the dog are my solace. I have no problem rolling out of bed to clear my head from some really bizarre dreams. It also helps me to better deal with the kids who are a wee bit crazy right now. On Friday, I found my 4 year old taking a bath in the sink with toothpaste?! I’ve been using the Santa card way WAY too much as well . I am seriously considering going back on antidepressants at least through the winter. I have had that pit in my stomach since I heard the news of my father’s accident and I am not sure where the line is between dealing with grief and moving back into depression. My moods have been fierce. My poor husband.

I know once I get back into routine that a lot of things can resolve themselves. There is a lot to be said for time healing wounds. I want to move on. I want to be in a place where I can think of my dad and not cry. I want to get strong and focused and ready for whatever life offers.