I Ran!

Finally - after a few weeks of feeling down on myself and sluggish with my run - I had a decent workout today! No records were set, but I ran the whole 4+ miles in 46.33 --- 11.39 pace and I felt like I could have run 6, but I didn't.

My DH came home for lunch - so no peace and quiet for me and I got nothing done. I think I'll manage a shower before I have to pick up the little one at 2. Tomorrow is a cross train day which is lucky for my puppy, because my workout will be a long walk. She really missed out this morning. My food intake is good and I weighed myself this morning just for kicks. 3 pounds down from last week's debacle. Of course, that's on my scale not ww's, however, I feel like its a good indication of how I'll do. I think I like how I switched things up this week. I hope it's a plan that will stick, especially if I am finally heading down.

Back to the treadmill

Well, I had every intention of trying to get a run in this morning and skipping the Y entirely... That is until I walked out the door with the dog and promptly fell on my ass. ICE - freezing drizzle - everywhere... The poor dog didn't quite know what to do... I did. Get up, go to the back yard, let the dog relieve herself and go back inside the house. Walk cancelled.

Check for injuries... Tailbone bruised most likely, but I can bend in all the right ways... Looks like I'll be running on the treadmill this morning - again. Four miles... 48 minutes.... Let's just get it over with...

Monday...

I got up, walked the dog, got the kids dressed and fed and went to the Y. I told myself that I was running 6 miles. I ran 4.9 and called it a day... In addition to hating winter, I also hate the treadmill -- or at least I do now. I can't believe how SLOW the time passes... I tried last week to mix it up with some elliptical, but I have to say that the eliptical hurts my knees... Strange but true.

I ran around and did errands after the almost 5 miles and only had a banana and a few M&Ms that my daughter shared (a bribe for getting to finish the errands without a meltdown). Needless to say I was hungry when I got home. BUT, I ate good food and dilligently logged it in Spark - I like that site!

And now I think I need a new running bra. This probably falls in the relm of TMI but I had a breast reduction 2 years ago and the scars under my breasts are really killing me! I can't wear underwire anymore!!! Anyone with sports bra recommendations ?? I feel like I've tried them all! I am hurting so much after Saturday's run with what I thought was a good fit - champion, underwire support without the underwire (not!) that I am home bra-less, hoping that the pain will go away! At least now I can go bra-less.

Tomorrow I run 4 miles. I was going to punish myself and go for 6 again, but I really want to just keep following the plan and consider today a recovery run. Maybe tomorrow I'll try to speed things up and get a good workout in! Again, I really want to get the most out of my training and do more than just cross off the miles from my list. I guess that means that if I am so bored with the treadmill that I should either - try and take the dog for a jog - or jog first and walk her when I'm done... hmmm... I could be on to something. We'll see how I feel in the morning!

I RAN 13 miles, and then some.

Wow and Ugh all at once. I ran 13 miles yesterday through the hills of Newton. By the time I hit mile 12, I had had it. The last hill I had to run 30 paces, walk 30 paces. I did run the last .2 miles at a decent pace, but that is only because I needed to be done – BAD… This was the first run that I hurt. I mean my back ached; the plantar fasciitis or whatever that cramping is on the bottom of my foot would just not subside. The only thing that I could think was “HOW THE HECK AM I GOING TO RUN 26.2 MILES!!

My coach said that this feeling was NORMAL. Everyone has bad runs (oh, and my mp3 died somewhere along mile 8 so all I had to listen to was my little complainer in my head). I probably should have had my power gel at mile 4 instead of mile 8; and maybe I didn’t stretch/refuel properly after my run on Thursday…. It really got me thinking…. I need to get a little more serious about my training --- not just getting the miles in. Making sure that I stretch and refuel properly – all those things coaches tell you to do….

Before the run we had guest speaker – Nancy Clark, RD. First of all, she’s a very nice lady. Second, I found the KEY to my weight loss problems – and what I hoped was my LIGHT BULB moment. She asked if my diet was a crescendo… Do I eat a small breakfast, lunch and then DINNER? Why yes… because I am so hungry. This, she said, is a diet for weight gainers, regardless of how much you exercise. I am going to get her book Nancy Clark's Food Guide for Marathoners , but I am going to start her weight loss strategy now. What I have to do is eat 4 meals a day, with an even distribution of my calories. “Do your dieting at night while you sleep and wake up ready for breakfast.” Makes sense – We’ll see if it transfers on Thursday when I weigh in.

What to say...

Today's post was supposed to be up beat. About how I've logged my food diligently for the last 4 days and what great progress I've made at the scale.... Let's just skip all the rambling... At WW I was up 1.2 lbs...... How can this be? I had just been to the gym and run 5 miles on top of staying with in my calories? Am I grouchy? Could it be my period? I honestly don't know. I am baffled. I am also tired. It took everything I had to put in the 5 miles today... I walked A LOT.

I am still on marathon track and still going to log my food in SparkPeople. I will follow my diet, continue to exercise. Eventually - and I know I've said this a lot - EVENTUALLY something positive on the scale will happen. I am convinced of this... The alternative of becoming a slothenly couch potato is NOT an option. I just want to stop being FAT!

Strength Training.

Last year I focused a lot on strength during my winter off. I was able to bench 125 for reps and I thought that was pretty good for a girl. I didn't lose any weight, but I was strong. SO in an effort to jump start my weight loss I switched gears - spinning, spinning, spinning. I did weights only occasionally. My point with this is.... Sparks put together a short strength session - push ups, planks, triceps, leg lifts, walking lunges.... The lunges - no problem, but my upper body - What the heck happened??? I could barely hold a plank for 30 seconds, and 5 "boy" pushups was all that I could muster before having to go the "girly" knee route. (I was in the Army so I am a stickler about pushups). My upper body/core strength needs some serious attention. I feel so utterly WEAK.

My plan is to stick with the short SPARKS workout until the marathon and then try and add a real gym session once a week. I am toying with the idea of at least an Olympic distance Tri this summer. If that's going to happen I am going to have to kick it up a notch post marathon. I haven't been in a pool to swim in months (I don't count splashing in the pool at family time swimming), and I really will need to get back into spinning/riding. This marathon is just ALL ENCOMPASSING. It is the only thing I can think about. I honestly can't imagine how I could fit in swimming and biking to actually do an Ironman....

Back on track... again....

I am getting a cold. I can feel my sinuses - puffy, head not so clear... I can not get sick. Zicam.

The snow has stopped. I actually shoveled the entire driveway, walkway and went sledding with the kids in the back yard, so although I didn't ever get to the gym last night - I did get my exercise yesterday. Today I have decided to do a split workout. I am supposed to run 6 miles - but I don't really think that I can bear that on the treadmill today. SO I am going to do a mile on the elliptical, then 2 on the treadmill and repeat to make the 6 miles. It works for me in theory... we'll see if it really happens once I get to the gym.

I hate to wish my life away, but I am GLAD that January is almost over. I am SO done with winter.

Winter Returns with a Vengence

2 - 4 inches... So now we have about 6" on the ground and it's snowing even harder.... It's only 9 o'clock in the morning. My dog is psycho, the kids are off the wall and I have my neighbor's kids until after lunch. I am obviously not going to get my 6 miles in today. I may get a decent workout shoveling, but there will be no running. Hmmph! Maybe, just maybe it will stop at a decent time so that I can go to the Y tonight. I doubt that I would be able to run the full 6 at the end of the day, but maybe I could do 4??? We'll see...

I decided to give SparkPeople a look. It seems a whole lot easier than fitday and ww. Will it help jump start some weight loss? We'll see!

Right up Heartbreak Hill!

I ran 12 miles today instead of 11. Our 11-miler was to take us half way up Heartbreak Hill. Our coach said that once we got there we wouldn’t be able to resist the rest of the run to the top… I thought “ya, right” until I got there myself and thought “why not?” SO, 12 miles --- miles 15-21 of the Boston Marathon done. I came home, washed my face and headed out to drop my daughter at a birthday party. Now home, I plan to shower and change for an evening out. I am tired, but not as wiped as I was last weekend for some reason. I think I must have slept better. Next week I run 13 miles… It seems so utterly strange to me still to be running these long distances, that keep getting longer. I ran a half marathon in 2003 and trained up to 11 miles… I felt so utterly spent after that race that I vowed never to run distance again. Thank goodness memories fade because I feel great. I feel like I can really do this race. Today’s time for the 12 miles was 2:28 , 12:33 per mile pace. Again, faster than last weekend and on track for a sub 6 hour finish if all the stars align on April 17th.

On the eating front, I am doing my best to at least control my portions and my eating. I am writing things down, but honestly haven't calculated all the points. I definately had too many yesterday... I started off well today, but had a poor lunch choice (a small portion of my hubby's nachos in addition to my salad:() I know from Oprah how many calories those nachos have...
Needless to say, my hope of being the food nazi this week has fallen by the wayside. I have 5 days left until weigh in. I can rope this in and show a loss. Good choices tonight and then POINTS for the rest of the week. I can do this.... Heck I ran 12 miles!!

I lost what?

.2 lbs --- that's .2 .... UGH! It's not like I am going to quit or anything, but JEEZ... How deflating. I am going to buckle down this week and focus 100% on FOOD (aside from the committment of running this marathon). I have got to break through these numbers. It is not possible for me to keep staying the same.... I keep thinking about the 1000s of people that lose weight each year... No magic - calories in, calories out. That's IT! I need to control my appetite, I need to control my intake and I need to do it now!!!

I am going to weigh myself each day --- it could have been water, right?
I am going to keep my food/exercise/points log at the WW website

I am going to plan my meals, weigh and measure

I am going to do some serious cross training on days when I don't have running to do, and
I am not going to freak if the scale doesn't reflect the work I do this week --- I know that eventually something's got to give.

Happy Thursday!

Wet Wednesday

A mid-week day off. I needed one - and it's pouring out, so yet another excuse to stay home and catch up on the housework. I am going to do some core work tonight when I watch TV, but nothing too strenuous. Tomorrow is weigh in day, so I am NOT going to over eat either and that is for sure.

I am switching from Core to Flex on ww. I thought that I should do Core because of marathon training, and now that I've been not losing any weight for a few months I've decided that portions are more my problem than the kinds of food I put in my mouth. Calories in versus calories out. It should be that simple. What I need to focus on is writing things down, adding things up and being accountable at the end of the week. If I do this, IF I CAN JUST DO THIS, and continue to gear up for the marathon, there is no scientific way I can maintain my present weight. Truly my body likes 185-195; it has been in this range for the last 10 years or so ever since I quit smoking and gained a quick 20lbs. Through 2 babies, through exercise programs and years of no exercise program, my body has stayed right here. I join WW, lose 5-10 lbs and I stop. I stop doing something, because I stop losing any real weight. I just manage to lose and regain the same 5 lbs with out cracking that 185 plateau.

Obviously something has to give. I am taking a stand NOW. I really can't see myself running a marathon at my weight. I don't want to be someone else's inspiration (if that fat girl can do it....) I just want to blend in and be just another runner.

If my 4oth is a memorable birthday, I don't want to remember it as another FAT birthday. I want to be fabulous; I want it to be the start of the new and improved ME... I have a lot of work to do, but I see so many people who have done it - and there is nothing super human about them. They just decided one day that enough was enough.

On summer goals...

Oh, JOY! I slept last night. My daughter slept. So far this morning, no explosions, no fighting... In fact, its almost too tranquil... My older daughter is off from school again today, so there's not the usual rush to get to the gym. We can kind of take our time - it will happen. Four miles again today and hopefully it will be back to normal at the gym so that I don't have to be disturbed mid-run. Our Y has a 30 minute rule during busy times, which I both understand and HATE! I will be extremely happy when the NewYearsResolutioners bow out and give us our gym back!

I have been so focused on Marathon training that I have neglected my TRI aspirations for this summer. I have no race schedule yet and no real goals. I need to work on that and incorporate some swimming/spin back into my cross-train days. I'll have to give this some thought (read procrastinate a little more before actually committing to doing anything substantial...)

Hello Monday

It's cold out. It's so cold in fact that the snow is crunchy and the roads are frozen from yesterdays 2 inches or so. The dog felt fine on her walk this morning. I couldn't wait to get around the block and get her business over with...I can't imagine running in weather like this. I've been lucky so far. It's been so nice on our long Saturday runs. Thankfully we haven't had a day like this... windchill below zero... yuk. The long range forcast is showing above freezing weather for Saturday. I hope that holds. Eleven miles lurks...

Today I got to the Y at my regular time. It was so crowded with the holiday. I not only had to wait for a treadmill, I actually got kicked off at 30 minutes and had to wait to get back on... That sucks. I was in such a zone. I didn't really feel like running when I got there. I was definately something I HAD to do. However, once I started, I ran fast. My last 2 miles I ran in sub 11:20... That's good for me.

Eating wise - I had sushi for lunch. 2 rolls with my sister who had craved sushi since she found out she was pregnant. It was yummy. I finished the rest of my "Thank yous" for donations and now my day is all about making dinner and doing "mom things."

Jammy Day...

It is snowing. After 60 degrees and rain yesterday, we now are in the midst of a blizzard. Seriously, it is about 25 degrees and blowing snow! We're only supposed to get 3 inches or so, but regardless of the amount I have declared this Sunday to be JAMMY DAY! We haven't had one in a while. No church, lots of TV, reading magazines, and making a yummy Sunday dinner. I SO wish we had some wood for the fire.

I got to sleep in this morning (630) I got up and walked the dog in the snow and felt surprisingly good. I am amazed that my body can run 10 miles and feel so good. Sure, there is a little muscle soreness, but nothing that could keep me from enjoying the day. I really love my running group. I love how I am challenging myself and that my body is responding so positively. I can only hope to feel so good on Marathon day. If I keep up with the training, I am sure I will!

I am tracking my eating and feel confident that the scale will start moving in the right direction ... down. I can't possibly maintain this wait. I just can't !

MOM Where are you???

If I hear that again today I just might ---- UGH!

Can I tell you first that I had an awesome run this morning? 10 scarey miles (15-20 of the Boston Marathon) through the Newton hills. It was pouring, but it was 60 and delightful. For some reason the rain distracted me. I got into this zone and before I knew it I was at the turnaround. Before I knew it I was back at the community center. 209.04. Thats slow, but a slight mileage improvement - sub 13!!

I am not SO tired and I have been trying my best to not eat JUNK. My DH brought home chips and QUESO and I had none. Core Potato Leek soup for me!

My kids are HORRIBLE today. I love them dearly, but they have fought non stop since before I left for my run this morning. I don't know why this is, but my DH is oblivious to it all! Of course now he's out in the garage working on his motorcycle - that he can't ride again til March... BREATH... I am in dire need of a calgon moment when I am not running... I really need some non running ME time.

Aches and Pains

I have slept awful for the last week. Between the dog and my daughter I have not had a solid 8 hrs. In addition, I am sore. Not so much in my legs from running - though my calves are mooing; its more in the neck and shoulders - like I was sleeping wrong or stressed... Boy I could use a massage.

I walked the dog at 5:00 am. I was awakened by a horrible smell and thought that Daisy had left a mess, but then figured I better not tempt fate when I didn't find anything. She did her business outside and I enjoyed the fact that it was 38 degrees on a January morning. I don't like to wish my life away, but I do wish it was March. I HATE WINTER and this week has been a big tease. All the melting, smells of spring. My mom is leaving for Hawaii next week for 3 weeks. Oh how I wish I could crawl in her suitcase and go. I know that winter will be back soon with a vengence. We've got a long 8 weeks ahead of us.

Today is my day to regroup. I have laundry to do, groceries to buy, and bathrooms to clean. I want to have my run bag packed and my clothes layed out. Ten miles in the morning and it is supposed to be raining - a wind swept rain according to Channel 5. Delightful. On a truly delightful note, I have met my fundraising minimum so the pressure is OFF! I am so happy to have that aspect of my marathon adventure behind me! Now as long as I don't get injured, I'll be good to go.

Back on track...

I ran this morning at what has become my usual pace, 11:40 for 4 miles on the treadmill. I took some time to STRETCH and then headed off to ww. My post holiday gain was 3lbs. My weight was 192.5. I'll take it and move on... Considering that I weighed in naked at 195.5 after a 9 mile run last week - I will consider this a "losing week". Next week, however, will be a whole different ball game. I am going to keep doing what I am doing - logging food, watching portions and of course running.... No slacking this week!

A Guilty Day OFF!

I did not run last night. I did not even walk the dog this morning - my husband did so that I could get the kids dressed and out of the house by 8 am (no small feat mind you). I was off to my sister's house to introduce my kids to their new nephew. We went, we visited, we had lunch at Friendlys before school. I am happy to report that you can now get the buffalo chicken salad with grilled, rather than crispy chicken. Phew! I am sure its the 2 fried chicken sticks and not the 1/2 cup of blue cheese dressing that used to make this a bad choice... The whole time I was in the car I was thinking about running and about the fact that I had basically taken the day off yesterday. Who do I think I am? SLACKER... I keep telling myself that I should go to the gym tonight and do elliptical and then run tomorrow (doubtful) I keep telling myself to get over it and recognize that it's OK once in a while.

I really DO need to get over this guilt. Nothing good can come of it. I will run tomorrow. I will weigh in at WW finally and I will get mentally prepared to RUN 10 miles on Saturday morning -- in the RAIN -yuk.

Lacking focus...

I ran yesterday - not very fast mind you, but I did my 4 miles and I also did some striders -3/4 sprints at the end. I felt a little sluggish. Today I feel ALOT sluggish, but I will TRY TRY TRY to get to the Y when my hubby gets home. I couldn't go this morning and I couldnt run this morning at home since I got up late on account of my 3 year old who has refused to sleep anywhere but my bed... Its a war of the wills and I did NOT give in last night. I didn't sleep much either... I am hoping that the combination of not letting Audrey nap this afternoon, coupled with my tenacity will lead to a fruitful nights sleep for both of us this evening.

I am a bear without my eight hours! Day 5 of my WW plan... I am lacking focus today and I think its because I am tired... I ate a bit more than I should, but I am writing it all down and drinking the water. It's all got to count for something. Weigh in is Thursday....

A Conspiracy

... I had plans last night to get up early walk the dog and run my four miles... Instead I was awake more than 4 of 8 hours with my 3 year old who insists on trying to sneak in bed with us and then has a fit when I put her back in her own bed. UGH! As if that wasn't bad enough, the dog - who I love dearly - has gotten into a bad habit of waking up at 4:15 am barking her head off. She doesn't have to go - she just has to be with us.... We have tried to let her sleep upstairs, but she won't stay off the bed. She jumps up, lays down and turns into CEMENT dog. What's worse is that she just won't lie at the bottom of the bed, she needs to lay on me. Nothing worked this morning. We were all pretty much awake, groggy and NOT in a mood for much more than a short walk, a jolt of coffee and --- a trip to the gym to run on the treadmill.... I will try again tomorrow to get outside. I think the main thing is that I get my miles in any way I can.

On the food front, today is DAY 4 of my 12 week challenge. I haven't weighed in today, but I am hoping that after 3 days of STRICT adherence to CORE that I will have lost some of this bloat... Thursday is my ww day, so I will officially find out then how Week1 shaped up. This marathon is scaring me... I hope it is also motivating me.

I hope that my lack of sleep and very GRUMPY children will not de-rail me... Send the vibes.

Nine miles...

I did it. I ran the 9 miles in 1:58.10. That's on track for a sub 6 marathon; and right where I want to be. I can't say that it was easy, but I will say that I felt really good coming in to the finish. The course took us through Wellesley and Newton - miles 14 - 18.5 of the marathon; just a few miles from the infamous "Heartbreak Hill". There were lots of hills, a little ice to negotiate, and a lot of other charity groups out - like Dana Farber. The weather was in the 30's, but I think I dressed perfectly - never too hot and definately not cold. I was so nervous/anxious coming into this weekend and I am SO glad to have it behind me. I am not so worried about the mileage now. I think its more of matter of enduring the time it takes to complete them. I think it's about time for me to whip out the MP3 player and put together some music.

I still feel good now - 7 pm. I am trying to decide if I should be icing anything or just hang out. I have to say that I feel better than I did last weekend and I am not sure if it was the course (which I thought equally hilly) or the whole "distance fear". My times per mile where virtually identical.

I have got to start running outside and not schlepping to the gym. I think the treadmill miles are not as good qualitatively as those I run outside. I have been averaging 11+ min miles at the gym and 13s outside. That's quite a difference.

On another note, I didn't make it to ww this week. My sister had her baby and I needed to see my new nephew more than I needed to see how much weight I gained over the holidays. I did get on my own scale and it was not too pretty. 195 - YUCK ... The worst thing is that when I got back from my run and got on the scale this morning it read 195.5 and that was after one good day of WW... like totally sticking to my points!! I am sticking with it though. I have 14 weigh ins before the marathon... 100 days or so and I plan to make the most of them. I have to! I don't want to be the fat girl crossing that finish line. Plus the week after the marathon I turn 40 and I don't want to be fat for that either!

Feeling kind of ...

not myself. Little bit of heartburn from just a little bit of dinner, headache.... and I was SO tired during my run this morning. I finished the full 4 and then some, but I was SLOW and truly didn't want to be there. I kept thinking about this weekend - 9 miles... I signed my recommitment today. I raised nearly all of my money and now its just up to me to do this thing and run. I know the PROCESS is supposed to outweigh the event, but I really have my doubts. Can I run 26.2? Do I even like to run? The jury is definately still out on that one. What I do know is that I LOVE to finish and so, if the antipation of feeling that joy at the finish line is enough to carry me through, then SO BE IT... I am doing this no matter what!

I really hope that I am not getting sick....

No School, Big Snow...

I did my early morning walk with Daisy and the snow was coming down. Its heavy and wet and we're supposed to get another 8 inches before its all over. No school. No run. The Y is high on a hill in a new development. The town has not taken over the road yet, so maintenance is less than adequate I don't think that I'll risk going up there this morning... Maybe later when the worst is done and the plows have at least had the chance to make a few passes. I will get my 4 miles in today...

UGH. I am stressing about this mileage... Of course, if I expect to make it through a marathon I should expect to have to practice at long distances... I see that, but that still doesn't make it easy. I guess it's not suppose to be easy and it's only really scarey because I haven't done it before, right? One day at a time...

Ahhhhhhhh...

Christmas done. New Years done. January has arrived and I am in one piece, albeit a big piece. I am NOT getting on the scale until Thursday - my first ww meeting of the year. Since I took the last two weeks off from dieting, I am a little nervous about what the number might be. I do know that whatever pops up... it will be the highest number I will see this year, 2006. I just glanced over my schedule for the next two months and frankly I am frightened... half marathon by the end of the month.... 20 miles by the end of March. What have I gotten myself into??? Self doubt is setting in big time.

SO - how can I help myself? Losing some weight would be the best thing... I've got nothing standing in my way except ME... I do know that I am thinner now than I was last year at this time.... That has to count for something, and hopefully, I will be saying the same thing in 2007.

I will lose 6 lbs by the end of January - Modest and doable! I will log my food 5 of 7 days - Totally doable!! AND I will do whatever my run schedule says --- which is what I have been doing faithfully for the last 2 months! Go ME!!