Freedom Run Rotary 10K

Today's race was just lovely. I was not speedy, mostly because I was not feeling it, but also because I ran with my sister --- her first race of the year... The course was 3.5 miles of hills UP followed by 2.5 miles of rolling hills, mostly down. It was no worse than some of my Grafton training runs for the marathon, although the sun was out and the temp was 65 degrees!

Speaking of marathon - I ran into 2 of my TNT friends who at the last minute decided to run. It was great to see them so soon and made me think more about doing the marathon again next year...I really miss our Saturday groups!! Of course they ran their 10k in less than an hour, while I chugged in around 1:16 ---- that's a 12:25 pace. It is a pace that I've doing for the last 6 months, so no real complaints.

I would like to work on that speed thing, which I think will work itself out if WHEN I lose this extra 30+ lbs. I am willing to bet on that! WW is going well so far. I am not eating stellar, but I am within my points so hopefully Thursday's weigh in will give me a boost. I'm so sick of being this big - I would really like to make some headway --- real headway before my friends wedding June 23rd.

The way it is...

Today was my official first full day back on WW - again. So far so good. I am within my points, I've exercised, I've been concious about my water intake. It's 5:30 p.m. and I am going out with my neighbor friends to celebrate my 40th... Hmmm... Do I say "Sorry - I'm on a diet?" Now that would be unrealistic and just plain stupid.

I will have a (read ONE) drink. I will NOT eat chips -- we are doing the TexMex thing -- I will share dessert and only if I am forced to have one. I will also opt for a main dish with lots of veggies and char broiled what ever... NO sloppy cheese laden refried beans for me. Do you get that I am mentally rehearsing what I hope will be a successful evening on WW? I promised my self that I would actually follow the program this time (not invent my own thing and show up for weigh ins). I hate that I have to start my week like this, but --- THIS IS THE WAY IT IS... There is never a perfect time or situation. This is life and I need to learn to adjust to what is...

It's not easy - I guess that's why I'm still fat.

Now I know

I knew that I have gained weight over the last month. I had my little accident and couldn't do much and then I was tapering and then I ran the marathon and then I needed to rest and EAT. Today I found out that I have gained about 9 lbs. NINE ! Wow. I could have stepped on the scale at home before I went, but I just couldn't bare it. It was the last form of denial before I truly had to face the music.

Here's what is frustrating. Before I stopped going to WW - some time in February - there was a girl who was losing the way I wished I would. We weighed the same in January and she had lost a good 10+ lbs before I took my little hiatus. Today when I saw her she looked AMAZING - a totally different person. She's lost a total of 27lbs. I guess it was just her turn. I also noticed this morning at Spin, that my teacher looked great - another weight loss success. I saw her card in the box at WW... SHE goes to WW??? Obviously it works.

I don't really know how to approach this whole weight loss thing. I don't want to be psycho about it... When I go all out, I usually lose steam after a couple of days. I do want to take this seriously. I do want to follow the program. I am starting right NOW... Again!

The other part of the equation

I am going to SPIN and then I am going to WW. I am going to try again to get a handle on my weight, which is up... again. Blame it on the marathon, blame it on my self. I have not been watching what I eat, I've been eating at night, I've been eating too much. Feeding what? I feel like I am two different people. I am the one who will take 0n physical challenges and die trying to accomplish them, but I am also the one who can use the chore of doing laundry as an excuse to watch hours of TV while devouring a bag of pita chips. (I don't care how good they are for you; eating the bag still adds 700+ calories to your daily intake.)

It's GROUNDHOG DAY again. I repeat the same process, hoping for a different result. I do know that if I actually follow the program, I will lose weight. There is nothing physiologically wrong with me keeping me fat. It is me and my actions. So here I am making another go at it and hoping that this time something will click. It has happened for other people, why not me?

Swimming...

I swam yesterday for the first time in months. It felt pretty good for the first 500 or so and then I started getting sick... light headed... I guess it was the combination of a tight swim cap and all that breathing through my nose and the chemicals in the pool. It will just take some getting used to.. again. I made through my 1200m workout. Kicking sort of bothered my knee and I think that I will try and get an ortho appointment once we have insurance next week. I am still running the 10k this weekend as my sister has decided to join me. It will be her first race since having her baby in January... I hope she's really up for it.

Back at it...

Yesterday I went to the gym. I did 3 miles on the elliptical and 100 crunches. Since I started marathon training, my fat has seemed to move from my butt to my middle... or maybe that's just turning 40... Who knows, but I aim to change that. My rib still hurts and I'm not sure that crunches were the best exercise, but I am done with being hurt. Aleeve is my friend.

This morning I ran 3 miles. I have a plan for the week and will begin to incorporate swimming and spinning back into my routine. I have a bike ride scheduled for this Saturday and a 10K Sunday morning.

In other news, my house is STILL a disaster. I feel like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day... I truly need a day of motivation without kids to really get it all together. It is overwhelming. How do people achieve order in their lives? My mom says to concentrate on just one room. Unfortunately while I am doing that, my kids are concentrating on destroying another.... I do love them!

I am going back to WW this Thursday. I need some serious accountability. I have to be in a wedding June 23rd, and I am going to my annual "Girls Weekend" in just 3 weeks! I need to be at least headed in the downward direction. I really wanted to be a lot lighter by this time and I'm disapointed in my total lack of progress.

Here I am!

Finishing the Boston Marathon. I think I even see a smile on my face!

Skipping the gym

Yes, I am skipping the gym today. I got up and decided to clean my nasty house rather than push out a few miles on the elliptical. I gave myself permission. Heck, I ran 26.2 miles Monday!!

I need to get things back in order. My desk is a mess. I haven't switched my clothes for spring/summer (not like I have many clothes) and I desparately need to think more about diet - weight - training!!! My bike isn't even tuned up yet!! I feel like there are so many things to do that I don't know where to start. I have been so obsessed with marathon and my injuries these last few weeks / or 6 months that I have neglected everything else! So why do I sit here surfing and blogging?????? PROCRASTINATION that's why! I am FULL of it - I need to get rid of it!!

Is this what post - race feelings are all about ?? Being lost - not knowing what to do next? I have got to really think this through... It is entirely overwhelming!

Recovery

I walked around the pool at the Y yesterday morning, chasing my 3 year old. I figured it would be good therapy for the legs and the kids love to swim. Today I walked the dog 2 miles. It was 4:30 a.m. and I have NO idea why I woke up so early. Judging by how tired I am now, I will be going to bed with the kids at 7. We spent about 4 hours at the park this morning with the neighbors. We ran around, ate lunch and ran some more. My 6 year old is back out playing while her sister is snoring away on the couch. I'll regret that nap later I am sure.

My recovery plan will take me into the gym tomorrow for a short elliptical session (2-3 miles) followed by a little upper body work and stretching. I would LOVE to run this Saturday and see how I feel. My body seems to be healing pretty fast. I am glad.

I turn 40 this Saturday. I am not really sure how I feel about it, other than I am happy to be here to turn 40. No birthday plans - NOT my husbands strong suit. I would really like a pedicure, but I think I need to wait for the blisters to go away.

Now that the Marathon is over I will be looking forward to at least 1 triathlon -- Danskin, July 31 I think.. with a goal to break into the 1:30s. I am also thinking about a Century ride in September. I wanted to do it last year and never did. It's another one of those things on "my list" --- more later on my big plans...

BOSTON 06 - Been there, ran that

I made it – I am alive… Two days later I am feeling SORE, but very happy that I did it!

I didn’t make the 6- hour cut off, so I don’t have an “official time”, but I finished in 6:19 – just 5 minutes behind the Fox 25 traffic guy. The pre-race “Athletes Village” was fun with my teammates (after my mile long walk to get there). I have met a lovely bunch of woman and we all shared snacks, laughed a lot and waited in long potty lines. The start was overwhelming with so many people. I honestly don’t remember much about the first ten miles other than seeing a high school friend and the shocked look on her face, and the biker bar in Ashland – a sea of black leather tassels, beards, choppers and loud music! The crowds were very fun!

My roughest time was between miles 10 – 17, I started feeling nauseas and since it was so early in the race I began thinking that I might not make it. In all my long runs I have never felt like that. Luckily, the girls at Wellesley College cheered me through, gave me a wet towel (the best thing ever) and I met my coach at mile 15, who gave me another push. Then the ladies at Newton/Wellesley Hospital told me I needed salt and gave me pretzels --- my saving grace. I started feeling better (stomach wise) by mile 19, though my knee was feeling pretty rough by then.

We were told that Team in Training would be waiting at mile 20 so when I got there and didn’t see them I was a little bummed. I hit Heartbreak Hill and when I got to the top there was my TNT support tent and MY SISTER!!– I have honestly NEVER been so happy to see someone in my life! Tears of JOY!!! My mom and brother in law were at the next intersection! SO HAPPY they made it out to see me!!!!! My sister and I settled into a little walk/run thing for the next five miles. My biggest memory is dodging the trash trucks that were trying to pick everything up before they reopened the roads. There were also a lot of very drunk students who were very supportive – to extremes in most cases that kept us running (--away from them). Once we turned onto Boylston Street I knew we were there. I could see the finish line! My husband was waiting along with my mom and BIL who had taken the train back from mile 21. DONE – But not quite… Walk another block to take off timing chip, and another block to get MEDAL (very important) and bag, and another block to meet my coach at the Park Plaza. THEN I was DONE!!

I started feeling nauseas again and sat for a bit eating tortilla chips. I took a COLD shower and felt a little better. My Hubby got the car and we headed home. It was nearly 9 o'clock. I was SO happy to see my bed!!

Marathon EVE

My bag is packed. Running gear is laid out and my bag for "Athlete's Village" is all set. I am eating a yummy pre race breakfast of oatmeal and coffee (must have coffee) and I'll head out to the start around 9:00. I live less than 5 miles from the start so I am just going to see how close I can get dropped off and hope that it's closer than where the shuttle bus would drop off --about .75 miles from the assembly area. If I strike out I have to drive more than 10 miles to catch a bus - something i really want to avoid. I am really PSYCHO today and could definately benefit from an easy pre-race...

I don't have much more to say except that the pasta lunch was awesome. If you ever have the opportunity to hear John Bingham speak - do take full advantage. He is really funny! I LOVE MY TEAM IN TRAINING. My coaches are SO great - I've really thought a ton about my experiences over the last 6 months and I am SO thankful to have been a part of this. I have made some truly awesome friends! I am really inspired to keep going! We'll see what tomorrow brings!

FRIDAY - 3 days to go....

I am ANXIOUS. That is all. I am psyched to go to the Expo tomorrow. I am psyched to have pasta with my team mates. I am thankful that I don't have to have Easter dinner at my house --- thanks mom!

My kids and hubby and going to do their own fun tomorrow rather than hang with me, so Mom and I get to really enjoy the day in Boston.... Hubby worked late every day this week and had to accompany clients to a show on Tuesday and a Red Sox game last night (I know, rough job). He actually wants to take the kids to the Y, Chucky Cheese and to ride bikes -- all by himself!! Not that he doesn't enjoy the kids, he does, just usually not two at once, with out me... Rock on I say!!!

Other than walk the dog and chase kids at the park, I've done nothing aerobic. I am TAPERING though nervously so. I would like to run 1 mile tomorrow - JUST BECAUSE. We'll see how it all turns out...

Five days to go...

and counting... I am feeling more excited, anxious.... My body is about 80%. Again, the tightness in my knee, but no pain. The pain is reserved for my rib which just doesn't feel right - no worse, but no better in the last three days... Oh well, it will have to be a pain I can live with. I just have to keep reminding myself NOT to do anything --- especially pick up a whining 30lb, 3 old when she decides to have a lay down fit in the middle of Target.

The weather.... HMMMMPH! I know we are still 5 days out, but come on!! Rain or no rain... 60 or 50 degrees??? Which is it?? I am wondering if I should wear tights or shorts? My TNT friends, and Nic have talked me into going "au naturel" NO MUSIC for the marathon. I have my gels, my hat.... My coach has told us to wear old shoes to the Athletes village and change into the fast ones just before the race. I guess I hadn't thought about the wet grass... Trash bags - 2 big ones, an old Neat Sheet from last summer for sitting and SNACKS - plain, cin/rais bagel and a banana, gatorade --- Am I missing anything??

My sister is meeting me at mile 21. Her best friend and 2x Boston runner suggested that she bring BenGay to put on my legs and back for the last 5 miles... DONE. I have been using it on my ribs/side for the last two weeks and it does make a difference.

Yesterday I walked for 35 minutes at a 4 -4.2 and ran a whole 5 minutes... I felt just fine - no better, no worse. I stretched as well as I could. I have my coaches voice stuck in my head "NOTHING YOU DO THIS WEEK (physically) WILL HELP YOU ON MONDAY, BUT IT COULD HURT YOU..." Unfortunately, I just can't sit around and do nothing.

Let the obsessing begin

The projected weather for marathon day is rain and mid-50s. I hope the forcast will change just a bit and give us no rain - the temp is quite nice for running. I felt sore last night, but woke this morning a little bit better. My knee is still tight, my quads are slighty sore from yesterday's run, but my ribs don't ache as badly and that is SO good.

Now that I am feeling better, I've decided to start obsessing about what I will wear, carry, think about on Marathon day... I have a spot on my desk for all marathon related stuff - singlet, shorts, assorted GUs, race belt -- to wear or not? Music - yes or no?Some people I've talked to said that it helped them focus, others wanted to fully experience the power of the crowds. ...I did not run with music for my 20 miler and it was kind of nice... Sun glasses? (I suppose if its raining I won't be needing them). Suggestions are appreciated.

ONE WEEK PEOPLE!!! ONE WEEK TO MARATHON DAY!!

My last run before BOSTON

I had my last TNT group training this morning. I knew I was going to run, just not how far. Well, I am happy to report that I made it the full 8 miles! I did not feel 100%, though my knee felt pretty good most of the way. My ribs are what is hurting, but I think that I can make it through the marathon with a few drugs and a lot of focus. My time today was 1:45. Not a stellar eight, but it was more about putting in the miles than it was for speed or anything else. This upcoming week I will SPIN. Rick, my coach, reminded me that NOTHING I do this week will have any bearing on my marathon performance. The work is done. That said, I don't think I want to chance anything on running more that a few miles. I want to rest, heal and hopefully feel a whole lot better than I did today. I also want to enjoy the week ahead with all of the festivities - the expo, pasta party and send off breakfast with my family Monday morning.

I'm back?

I am back from the gym. I took it easy. I finished a mile on the elliptical and ran for half mile on the treadmill. I am not going to say that I felt good - I felt like I could do a little more and the pain was bearable. I have 11 days to feel better.... I know I will do this! I have to!

Overwhelmed, and it's not all about me.

I can not even begin to say how I feel right now, except overwhelmed. In the past 6 days since "THE FALL" I have heard from people I don't even know, and this morning I got an e-mail from my aunt - someone I think I see once a year - to see how I was doing, and to encourage me no matter how things go. I don't know why I got so emotional, but I just started crying, and here I am crying again. It's so powerful to know that people really care and it makes me feel foolish for being so selfish when the whole reason for me having a number in this Marathon is to raise money for people who are dying of cancer - to help them find a cure - and just live.

Last Saturday while I was "all about me" my teammate got up and gave a dedication to her husband. He was diagnosed with Leukemia 14 years ago, and at that time was given 6 months to a year to live. Here it is 14 years later and he is still here, albeit still pretty ill from all the ravages to his body. In addition to talking about their battle with the disease, she talked about how they had banked sperm, but after 10 miscarriages had to go a donor to conceive their son, who she stressed is THEIR son. She talked about wanting to get off the sidelines and jump into the race, that she has never runned and now feels so empowered. We actually run at a similar pace - we've chatted, but I never knew her story... I've been thinking about her a lot this week. I have been thinking about how I need to do what I can to get better and stop dwelling on what is.

My body is about 75%. I keep thinking that my knee is better and then I move a certain way and realize that there is still something going on. My rib/side doesn't bother me when I am sitting or walking, but the deep breaths, sneezes or sudden movements send some sharp pains. I am going to go to the gym this morning and try to run one mile and see how I feel. I need to get back in the game. The thought of going into the marathon cold is killing me. With everything I've been thinking about this week I am more determined than ever to finish this!

Enough with the rest already...

OK, I admit last week I was a slacker. Aside from the awesome spin I took wednesday, I did not exercise with any kind of vigor or care.... HALF A$$ED! This week I am regretting that little vacation.... Why didn't I work out harder? Would I be in better shape now that I have to REST and not run??? I know... MOVE ON... My sister (who is so wonderful - sent me flowers to cheer me up) has told me at least 50x to MOVE ON... I really need to listen to her....

I am feeling better... I would give my knee a 75%, and my rib 60%. It's only been 5 days so I am PRAYING that by Saturday I will feel good enough to run a few miles with the team... Can I tell you how many people have called or e-mailed? I am so thankful for this whole TNT experience. Man, I am really going to missed my Saturday morning runs with them.... 13 days until the marathon! OMG!!

Monday Update - I am running the BOSTON MARATHON

I feel 10x better than I did Saturday. I am not 100% for sure, but I have two weeks to heal - I am running the marathon. The hard part will be to rest. I brought the dog for a short walk this morning and now my knee feels tight again... bad move. My rib is definately broken. Although it doesn't give me constant pain, I can't breathe deeply or sneeze or cough or laugh without discomfort. I am hoping that it will subside before marathon day, but If not, I will simply power through. I am running the marathon. I have worked too hard to let this get me know. Send good vibes.

Have you ever done something really stupid???

I really did it this time. I was cleanning my heating ducts - vacuuming them out as part of my spring cleaning. The vac got full so I emptied it into the trash; which was also full. I was so concerned about dumping the bag that I stepped right into the intake duct --- about a 2'x2' hole.
Yup, right in... COMPLETELY CLUELESS!

I keep playing that fall over and over in my head... It TOTALLY took me by surprise and I had vitually no time to react.... I punched through the duct and broke the fall on my right side. The bag of course went flying. I probably stayed in the hole for a full minute while I self assessed: Anything bleeding, broken??? My side hurt a whole bunch and still does. I am pretty sure that I cracked a rib or two. The bruise that covers me from the bottom of my breast to my waist is a good indication, as is the fact that I can't take a deep breath with out a lot of pain... I know the treatment --- rest. I check my legs - ankles, feet, OK... Knee, OK - though a little tight.... As the day progressed, however, my knee began to ache. It felt heavy and hurt to bend... I kept telling myself that I was running today no matter what... I got home from my DH's going away party and ICED--- he starts a new job Monday so we technically don't have insurance until then... I took Aleeve. I went to bed and slept as well as I could on my back with a pillow under my knee.

This morning, it felt pretty bad. I tried taking the dog for a short walk... It was very short since I could barely make it down the front stairs... I hobbled across the street so the dog could take care of business... Needless to say she felt a little miffed as we went back inside..... I got dressed in my post run gear, I knew I wouldn't be running the 12 miles on tap for today. I wanted to talk to my coach and get her opinion about the knee... I cried the whole way there hoping to get it out of my system before talking to her... No good. I am such a cry baby!

The good news is that she thinks I just hyper-extended the knee. She thinks I'll be fine for the Marathon. Our training was technically over last week with our long run. She even thinks the rest could turn out to be a good thing... I have reservations of course. She doesn't want me to even think about doing anything (run or x-train) until there is NO pain... Ice, Aleeve, Elevate... REST... It was a SAD day to miss the run. I felt so drained when I left. I NEVER QUIT, and the thought of not doing the marathon after all this work is just eating me up. I am going to rest... I am going to do all that I can to get this moving pain free... The rib I can deal with, the knee I NEED to work! I am really MAD at myself... How could I have been SO STUPID!!??