I am a Loser!

WW yesterday. I lost a pound. Only a pound, but I am happy. I am moving in the right direction and I feel confident that I will see a similar result next week too. I am in a groove - not in a rush. I'll make my goal. I know it!

Rainy Monday

I am feeling mentally exhausted. I am feeling... ugh... Yesterday my brother and I inventoried my father's property - well, only some of it.... Three hours worth. It was incredibly hard to walk by the house he was building... the stonework, the lilac bushes he loved, and the remnants of his vegetable garden. So much un done... then again he never (or rarely) finished anything. SO we have what remains. LOTS of work. Like eating an elephant --- where do we start?? Inventory.... We can't get moving until the end of the month, but then we have a deadline of March 1. Can we do this? We have no choice. I will NOT leave my kids with the mess my father left us. My dad's plaid flannel was sitting on the seat of his truck. It smelled like him - It was overwhelming.

I left my brother and went iceskating with my DH and kids. It wasn't how I wanted to spend my afternoon, but I am sure it was better for me than crawling under the covers. This morning it is raining and I have been setting up spreadsheets and calling salvage yards. But now I have to stop. It is 10:30 and I have to get to the gym... or to the store... we have NO FOOD or at least good food (vegetables anyone?) My daughter has watched too much TV.

Foodwise, I have neglected to write my food. I haven't eaten healthy, though I haven't eaten much... Three different people have asked me if I've lost weight in the last week. I know what the scale says, so the answer is no. I am worried that my lack of committment to weight training has caused me to lose muscle (probably). Does that make me look smaller? My pants say no.
I am going to make an effort the rest of the week to log food and I WILL get to the gym at some point today...

Things will get easier, right?

One Month...

It is one month today that my father died. I still can't believe that he's gone. It's still so raw at times - just when I think the tears are over I am reminded of him and it feels like day one all over again. I miss him today.

I went to spin. I am eating well. I weighed in at the SAME weight as last week. So much for a loss, but then there was no gain. SO - the party is OVER. I am writing it all down. I am staying within my points. JUST ONE WEEK - on program 100%! I desparately need to see a new number - a validation that I am not spending hard earned cash for nothing. I WILL see my goal weight in 2007. I will become a WW lifetime member.

Lentil Soup Anyone???

Back on the wagon -sort of... I ate a brownie, then some pretzels and then some cheez-its and a bowl of spaghetti and then I remembered that I was counting points starting today.... hmmm. What to do??? I rummaged through my cupboards and decided to make soup - lentils, ff chicken stock, 1 can of tomatos, saute onion and carrot and add a box of frozen spinach. Delicious. I have to weigh in in 2 days so it will be all that I eat. Remember --- I am back on the wagon.

I put the xmas tree and anything else having to do with the holidays back up in the attic. I put the toys up in the playroom and took back my living room. I signed up for Thursday Spin and bought a stability ball for home use (of course I have to blow it up). I also found a race that I would like to train for... a Duathlon (3, 11, 2) which happens April 22. Now, I just have to put it all together. My body is moving, but I still feel like my head is not in the game. I guess I just have to do what I can - we'll see how it goes.