Hopeful

I weighed in this morning at 201. I'll take it. I have my menu for the week. My exercise will be sporatic until the end of the month when I am out of class and can actually plan. I am logging my food on SparkPeople (again) to make sure that I SEE how many calories I am eating. Maybe this will make me think twice before reaching for the late night snack!! 19.5 lbs by Jan 1. I CAN DO THIS!!

Need to make changes - 201.5

I logged my food 5 out of 7 days. That said, I stayed the same.... 201.5 or lost a pound since the day after I weighed in last week, I was up a pound. I'm splitting hairs. The scale didn't move.

SO, I have to make some changes. I need to cut some calories. The hardest part of the day for me is between 3 and 8 pm. Dinner is fine, but I eat before, during and after... I'm not even concious of what I'm doing most of the time. Journalling has made me realize just how much I eat when I am not thinking.

I need to think. That means planning. It is time consuming, but as far as I can see it is the reason so many are successful. I want that success.

Goals for this week will be:

1. Exercise with intent and VIGOR - 5 days, minimum of 30 min. (preferably 45)
2. Journal
3. Go to bed - STOP WATCHING NOTHING ON TV... No surfing, shut it off!
4. PLAN 3 full days of food and meals and eat nothing else! NOTHING!

Lets see how this goes! I am SICK OF BEING SO FAT!

Feeling more myself

Keeping busy. Journaling food and totally seeing WHY I got so fat. Now it's time to really do something about it. STOP. Easier said than done, right? I've got a LifeGuard course for the next 4 Saturdays, so at least one weekend day is busy - no time to snack. I am going to take some carrots with me and pack a lunch, rather than rely on the snack machines and fast food. My choices will be made in the morning when I am STRONG rather than in the afternoon, when I am tired and weak.
I am supposed to ride my bike tomorrrow morning before class, but if it rains I will RUN. My back is feeling 95% better (just some muscle soreness) and I really want to capitalize on the fact that I actually feel like running. I think it's the fall air - crisp, low humidity - I LOVE IT!! Sunday we're off to SixFlags for Halloscream. We should walk a lot and again, I'll bring my own snacks and water. I SO want to see a loss this Tuesday. I keep hopping on the scale to see nothing but ugly 200+ numbers. I want to be under, so that means I need to WORK! Cheer for me. I need a dose of MOJO.

Stepping up (gently)

My back hurts. I'm pissed. That's all I have to say about that. The goals for the week were met yesterday: I exercised, journaled and went to bed fully concious after the B1ggest L0ser.

Can I just comment on the fact that I hate that BLUE-eyed Amy? She should have been gone last week. She's a complete whiner and slacker. I was psyched to see her have a "0" weight loss after she caused so much drama about switching trainers. It doesn't matter who you work with if you don't work up to or beyond your limits. She needs to step it up!!

Which, by the way, is what I need to do -- put my money where my mouth is! I snacked WAY too much yesterday. I know that because I wrote it all down. I also had a high fat snack of cookies and skim mild last night. They were portion controlled (190 calories), but I wasn't hungry. It's just one of those bad habits I need to give up.

Starting OVER, Again.

Zoinks! Today is the official weigh in day for my New Years Challenge. My weight was a disappointing 200.5 lbs. I never EVER wanted to see that number again and it's back. Can I say that it's the last time this time? Well, unless I stop procrastinating and make some real changes in my life I will see that number, and I will see it go higher.

I ran this morning. A new 4 mile loop around the neighborhood. At mile 3 I made a turn to come home and pulled (?) something in my back. Undescribable pain. I walked, and then jogged slow the rest of the way home. I am bummed because I really wanted to kick the last mile. I was warmed up and, let's face it - down hill makes you feel so FAST! Anyway, I tried to stretch, showered and took my best friend Aleve. Whatever I did I NEED it to go away. I MUST exercise with intent and vigor if I am to be successful at this challenge.

I have a busy week planned and hope to keep the stress (read- mad eating) to a minimum. I shopped yesterday and filled the fridge with fresh veggies. The freezer is stocked with frozen ww meals in a pinch. No Excuses! My goals for the week are:

1. Exercise every day. Whenever I can fit it in. Bring the dog for a walk. Ride bikes with the girls, or put in a REAL gym experience. Doesn't matter what I do, I just need to move.
2. Keep a food journal.
3. Get some sleep. I know that I will feel better and I know that my night time food issues could be well managed if I went to bed to read, rather than sit and fall asleep in front of the TV.

Let's see where this takes me. I would like to leave October with one great week behind me!

Searching for Something NEW

I am always up for a challenge. While surfing through Pasta Queen, I came upon this:

http://www.talesfromthescales.net/2007/09/new-challenge-n.html

SO - From NOW until January 8th, I am going to REALLY try to lose 20 pounds. I haven't been on the scale yet, so I don't know where I am starting from but that will happen tomorrow (for real this time). My hope is that it's under the dreaded 2--. I haven't been pigging so it should be, but I am not 100%.

I still need to develop a working Work Out schedule. I know it must seem ridiculous that I can't find the time now that I am "working" 2 mornings a week, but believe me it is true. I am going to need to adjust how I do things and when. I may even need to get my arse out of bed at 5 am.

Stay tuned.

Repetition, Consistency...Mojo

If I do something right and keep repeating that something eventually a new GOOD habit will be created, RIGHT? This is what I keep telling myself. This is what I keep tormenting myself with.... I ran Tuesday. It was hard, but it felt good. I NEED to do it again, and again and again... I know that eventually it will get easier and maybe I may one day just do it with out thinking. That is the goal... OR is the goal just reaching day 2 and then 3 and then 4???

I am not consistant and it kills me. I want to be healthy. I want to be at a good weight for my body type. I can have good days. I can have great days where I eat healthy sized portions of good for you food. AND THEN I have days where I just don't pay attention. I eat whatever is available in whatever amount I see fit. I don't think about whether I am full or not, I don't think about nutritional content or if I've had all of my fiber. I just eat. I don't think and then later I get pissed at my self for not thinking.

Two of my favorite bloggers - PastaQueen and DietGirl are where I want to be. They have worked hard to create the good habits. They consistently eat well. They are now at healthy weights AND they are not deprived or abnormal in their mannerisms. WHAT HAVE THEY GOT THAT I DON'T? What do I need in my life to give me the MOJO to plan and act in a way that will get me where I want to go??

Back

I made it through a Disney vacation. It was an overwhelming surprise for my children. It was long. It was magical. It was tiring. We all had a wonderful time, but MAN I am glad to be home.



Today is our second day of normal. All are back to school. DD2 has skating in an hour, DD1 skates tonight. I ran yesterday for the first time in 2 weeks. 3.1 miles around my neighborhood. It was hard. My legs were cement and my breathing was definately labored. I am sore this morning, but its a good sore.



I am back to work tomorrow. A part of me would like to just be a LifeGuard and that's it. As the weather gets colder, I know it will be ever harder to get into the pool to teach. The memories have flooded back --- oh yeah, that's why I stopped doing swim lessons... Thankfully, I am taking the LifeGuard Certification course this month. It will be a strain for the family --- 9-4 on Saturdays and a couple of days during the week. However, once I get that card, it's good for 2 years and I can work whenever I want... weekends, nights... and the best part is that I am not soaking for the entire time I am working. PLUS I get a raise. Not that I will break the bank, BUT paying down our debt, not using credit cards will be HUGE... We've been sliding for the last year and with the economy the way it is, I have felt a lot of pressure to put the brakes on before things get out of hand (or heaven forbid we have an actual emergency). We have never had 6 months salary in a rainy day fund. In fact, I find the idea pretty laughable. WHO CAN DO THAT?? Yet that is what the "experts" say we need to protect our families. Apparently they don't live in the REAL world.

Ramble Ramble. FOCUS. I am logging food, exercising... SCALE. We'll see how bad the damage is tomorrow. Procrastinate one more day...