Week 3 - 189.7

I know, I know... a gain?!

True. I let the weekend get the best of me and by the time I tried reigning it in, the damage had been done. Maintenance was what I was hoping for, but the .4 gain I'll own. I ate pie. I did not exercise the way I had planned.

This week's session was about deciding what is important to me in my life --- not just weight issues. I had to come up with a list, and what I wanted to do to improve these things. Many of my issues centered on relationships (building or re-building), but as for the health part of my life - exercise is what I need. So in addition to having a lunch date with my DH and researching a knitting club, I have to plan 3 exercise sessions. I can run, spin, do weights - BUT I have to plan and follow through... 3 times....

AND I feel like crap. I have the WORST cold. I took medicine last night and felt completely out of it all day today. I don't know if I slept or if I was just passed out... My plan is to do what my body will let me do --- today that was walk the dog. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day!

Week One - 189.3

My before shot - 11/16/09 - Weight 193.3

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Today my official weigh-in was 189.3 and that is a loss of 4 pounds for the week! I am definately happy with the start.

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Today's session focused on letting people help you achieve goals.... I plan to sit down with my kids and DH over the weekend to let them know what I am doing and how they can help me to: chill out (stop yelling), curb my meal-time prep eating, and schedule time for exercise.

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Everything is positive and I am looking forward to getting everyone on board. Who knows - maybe the whole family will benefit!

Just doing it...

So the week was decent. I logged all but one day, and I got out to at least walk the dog. It was a CRAZY busy week and it's almost done. What I have to realize is that no two weeks are the same and even the best schedules, plans and intentions can be derailed. How we choose to deal with these situations is what makes the difference.

Thanksgiving is coming. I don't care. Yes, I really don't care. It's food. It's a day.

My biggest struggle next week will be the kids being home and the lack of any meaningful time to myself. I will pray for patience. I am thankful I decided to start taking meds again. It has definately leveled off my moods and my coping skills are much improved. I feel in control for the first time in a while.

I guess I'll just keep doing what I am doing...

Day 3 - 189.0

Back in the 180s and I am being SPOT ON with the journalling - both mood and food. My week has been unusually hectic (I'll spare the details), but I am trying to keep it all together. I am feeling more positive about the diet and I guess about life in general.

I wonder if there is a correlation between eating healthy and feeling good....

Sigh.

Today is the day. I started my weight loss study. I don't have to focus on weight right now, because for the first 8 weeks it will be all about therapy. That said, I am NOT waiting 8 weeks... The scale was a big OUCH...

My start weight is a whopping 193.2 and that is nearly 8 lbs up since August when I hurt my back and took my little exercise hiatus. I have to journal my mood for the study, so I'll be journalling my food as well. I need to get losing again. I need to get moving again. I am really disgusted with myself!

I took some BEFORE photos and I'll post them soon(like, as soon as I can find the cord for the camera!).

I guess I have to have a START --- and this, hopefully, will be the last START I will need to get it right - lose and maintain a healthy lifestyle...

Stress....

I despise all problems money, and in the spirit of recession we've definately got our share. If all goes well today, our old car will be sold; our newer car will need minimal repairs and life will go on...This is what I am trying to sell.... In my mind, the person buying our car won't show up - the car we're getting in "mint condition" will drop its transmission and something major like the furnace will simeotaneously blow up... I am not sure what causes me the most stress - dreaming about all the ways things could go wrong or mearly the fear I have of not knowing what will happen...

One more week....

One more week to think about getting it together. Next Monday I formally begin the weight loss study and hopefully I'll be serious and stop getting fatter.... I just can't stand it anymore!

I have a BUSY week ahead and lots of stressors... getting a new(er) car, getting a new(er) car ready for inspection, getting the old car fixed, followup appointments for DD1, getting recertified (lifeguard and CPR), plus the usual array of kids' practices and activities. Oh - let's not forget that I am also sitting for my neighbor's giant dog. My objective for the week is to keep it all together - log food, and exercise at least 3x.

I don't plan on stepping on the scale until I do so at the study... I am so afraid of what it will say... How can I work so hard at losing, but it really takes no time at all to put those pounds right back on..... Is it really possible to be diligent and disciplined for the rest of my life?

Some things are bigger than you think....

Today was Veteran's Day at my daughter's school and I was invited to be honored, as I am a veteran. I am proud of my service and look back fondly on the time I spent in the Army. I had great experiences, made life-long friends (and a DH) and learned a lot about my young self. My girls know that I served (as did their dad), but I never really knew how they felt about it.... until last night.

My little first grader was SO excited that I was coming to her school. She made me a medal and her class a poster filled with glitter. It felt like Christmas Eve... She couldn't wait to go to bed, but she was up for most of the night because she just couldn't wait for morning... I let her lie with me for a while, put her back to bed... let her back in, and put her back to bed. I've been up since 1:12 a.m., but it was well worth the time spent with her. At the ceremony she was beaming. I let her wear some of my pins --- since their was NO WAY IN HELL I was going to put on my uniform (I will not even try my pants --- I don't need reminders of what 30+ pounds does to your body, let alone birthing 2 kids!). I was the "only MOM" there and DD2 was proud. I was too.

I went grocery shopping and bought fixings for several healthy meals. My fridge is stocked with hummus, veggies, yogurt and skim milk. I have been faithful to the program for most of the week - getting in some good exercise and journaling my food. Hopefully I'll be able to keep it together over the weekend. It's time to rake the leaves so I know I'll get enough exercise!

November 16!

Start date for the weight loss study. Nine a.m. with Matt, my therapist.

I am excited and most definately ready.

Until then, I will exercise. I will eat well.

I am thinking about a fitness goal --- like a race... or something... The Run to Remember is a half-marathon that I did 3 years ago (my last). I think I will sign up. I think I will beat my time of 2:42:43....

I will go to the gym in a while and do a little elliptical and a little strength training to add to the 2 miles I walked with the dog this morning. My kids are in school and back to good health. I am not going to waste my day!

Sick is not the new fun...

My daughter has had a headache/fever for 2 days... She told me just a while ago that staying home wasn't really fun. I told her it's not supposed to be fun, so that kids would rather be in school. I wish I could go to school some days...

My week is all over the place.... I had plans.... but like the good mom, my plans came second to the sick child. No real workouts other than house work. Maybe I'll rake this afternoon... My new CWX pants arrived... They are still in the bag, begging me to try them on, urging me to RUN...

I'll have to wait for now and hope that my kid is 100% and back at school in the morning. A November start for the weight study is the new plan - just no date yet HMMPH! That said, I am continuing on my own to journal, staying fairly good and I still have had NO HALLOWEEN CANDY! NONE!!

Not ONE!

I did not eat one piece of candy!

I did the elliptical at the Y while my daughter had basketball. 35 minutes, 3.2 miles. I stretched. I didn't over eat. I walked my dog. I don't feel deprived.

NO is a muscle. The more you use it the stronger it gets...

I am going to use it.