Gone, but not forgotten

I have been STRESSING for the last month about our upcoming, surprise trip to Disney W0rld. It is my nature to become anxious and drop everything to obsess about all of the whats, wheres, hows, whens..... every little detail. I have made it to the gym a few times, ran a few times, but my mind is on the planning. Oh - and I have NOT been sticking to an eating plan, nor have I been on the scale. I see how I stray when I stress. I see that there are things I really need to deal with in terms of finding other ways to channel my craziness at night besides hitting the fridge. Frankly I just need to go to bed. I am frustrated by this endless cycle: In control - feeling good - eating, exercising, logging food, weighing in.... Hiccup - stress, stop logging, stop weighing, go to the gym sporatically...... Get pissed, weigh in, recommit, buy good food, start cycle all over again.

I leave for the trip Sunday a.m. I am growing ever more crazy and anxious. We must keep the surprise. I must figure a way to pack EVERYTHING with out anyone finding out. I must find someone to cover my work shift. I must get the dog to the groomers before she spends the week with my sister.

Let's face it. No matter what I KNOW is right, I KNOW that I will continue my path to crazy until we are safely checked into our hotel room in Orlando with our luggage. I am a psycho. I really don't like this part of my self. I know when I get back, I'll get pissed that I fell off the wagon. I will weigh myself, buy good food, start logging what i eat and get back to the gym. I just hope it will be that way for a while, so that I can make some real progress with weight loss. In the meantime, I am going to try and work on healing the psycho in me.