One more week....

One more week to think about getting it together. Next Monday I formally begin the weight loss study and hopefully I'll be serious and stop getting fatter.... I just can't stand it anymore!

I have a BUSY week ahead and lots of stressors... getting a new(er) car, getting a new(er) car ready for inspection, getting the old car fixed, followup appointments for DD1, getting recertified (lifeguard and CPR), plus the usual array of kids' practices and activities. Oh - let's not forget that I am also sitting for my neighbor's giant dog. My objective for the week is to keep it all together - log food, and exercise at least 3x.

I don't plan on stepping on the scale until I do so at the study... I am so afraid of what it will say... How can I work so hard at losing, but it really takes no time at all to put those pounds right back on..... Is it really possible to be diligent and disciplined for the rest of my life?

Some things are bigger than you think....

Today was Veteran's Day at my daughter's school and I was invited to be honored, as I am a veteran. I am proud of my service and look back fondly on the time I spent in the Army. I had great experiences, made life-long friends (and a DH) and learned a lot about my young self. My girls know that I served (as did their dad), but I never really knew how they felt about it.... until last night.

My little first grader was SO excited that I was coming to her school. She made me a medal and her class a poster filled with glitter. It felt like Christmas Eve... She couldn't wait to go to bed, but she was up for most of the night because she just couldn't wait for morning... I let her lie with me for a while, put her back to bed... let her back in, and put her back to bed. I've been up since 1:12 a.m., but it was well worth the time spent with her. At the ceremony she was beaming. I let her wear some of my pins --- since their was NO WAY IN HELL I was going to put on my uniform (I will not even try my pants --- I don't need reminders of what 30+ pounds does to your body, let alone birthing 2 kids!). I was the "only MOM" there and DD2 was proud. I was too.

I went grocery shopping and bought fixings for several healthy meals. My fridge is stocked with hummus, veggies, yogurt and skim milk. I have been faithful to the program for most of the week - getting in some good exercise and journaling my food. Hopefully I'll be able to keep it together over the weekend. It's time to rake the leaves so I know I'll get enough exercise!

November 16!

Start date for the weight loss study. Nine a.m. with Matt, my therapist.

I am excited and most definately ready.

Until then, I will exercise. I will eat well.

I am thinking about a fitness goal --- like a race... or something... The Run to Remember is a half-marathon that I did 3 years ago (my last). I think I will sign up. I think I will beat my time of 2:42:43....

I will go to the gym in a while and do a little elliptical and a little strength training to add to the 2 miles I walked with the dog this morning. My kids are in school and back to good health. I am not going to waste my day!

Sick is not the new fun...

My daughter has had a headache/fever for 2 days... She told me just a while ago that staying home wasn't really fun. I told her it's not supposed to be fun, so that kids would rather be in school. I wish I could go to school some days...

My week is all over the place.... I had plans.... but like the good mom, my plans came second to the sick child. No real workouts other than house work. Maybe I'll rake this afternoon... My new CWX pants arrived... They are still in the bag, begging me to try them on, urging me to RUN...

I'll have to wait for now and hope that my kid is 100% and back at school in the morning. A November start for the weight study is the new plan - just no date yet HMMPH! That said, I am continuing on my own to journal, staying fairly good and I still have had NO HALLOWEEN CANDY! NONE!!

Not ONE!

I did not eat one piece of candy!

I did the elliptical at the Y while my daughter had basketball. 35 minutes, 3.2 miles. I stretched. I didn't over eat. I walked my dog. I don't feel deprived.

NO is a muscle. The more you use it the stronger it gets...

I am going to use it.

Definately starting in October.... NOT

I haven't heard from the Weight Loss Study people. I know my group, I know who my therapist will be, I know it's happening and now I know it won't be in October as promised. November? I hope so. I want to get going NOW...

This week I made some changes. I logged my food 4 days... I exercised three days.... and I hope to do better week by week... I am not waiting any longer for this study. Therefore when it begins, I'll be ready and ahead of the game.

One thing I haven't done is weigh myself. I know my clothes are tighter. One lose pair of pants from the summer is actually uncomfortable and it bums me out... I am done with FAT.

My goals for this week are to log at least 5 days and exercise for 4. Baby steps to get back into it... I am NOT eating any Halloween candy. Not ONE! Not even my favorites.... I really am done!

A New Leaf?

I started yesterday morning journaling my food again. I am sick of waiting for the weight loss/depression study to begin and sick of giving myself free reign in the fridge. I am no longer giving myself a "pass" to not exercise.

This morning I walked 2 miles with the dog and my neighbors. It was good to be out in the fresh air and nice to talk about nothing in particular with grown ups. I am trying to plan out my time (including how long I can be on the computer) so that I don't waste the day. Obviously I have a ways to go before I would consider this a new habit, but each day brings me closer to that goal.

I would like to take a yoga class though I am not sure if DH will be receptive to coming home for me at a specific time every thursday. It's been a rough few months in that department and I have been crossing him out of the equation for the most part b/c I just don't have the energy. I consider myself an IT widow and live the life of a single mom. It's just been easier than trying to make plans, nag and be disappointed time and again. For now it's just how it is, but it means that I don't ever go out or do much for me and that's not really working out so great. I will have to see if a babysitter can fit into the budget.

I know if I want to see some changes in my body that I will have to make some changes in my life and it's not all about the food. At least I am finally doing something!