Saturday, September 15, 2018

Work is Stressful and bad for my Health...

I came up with an idea and put together a first time event at my place of work. I honestly had no idea how many people would show up - we planned for 200 and ended up with twice that many... It was a great relief, and exhausting. No one could imagine how stressful this was... I could tell that my boss was giving me the opportunity to do it all; as well as the budget; but I don't know what her expectation was... Some of the other staff are resentful of my promotion and while not sabotaging my work, didn't do anything to help. In spite of it all the night was a success and I am so thankful it's over. 

For my health, I need to get into a schedule. I need to get back to basics. My doctor's appointment was not great. Seeing numbers back over 7, and my weight up 2 pounds (not nearly as much as I thought) make me realize that my health is what I give to it. I make it happen - the good and the bad. I know what I need to do; I don't need a magic pill, special diet, or anything else. It all comes from within and I know how to get back to a healthy state. 

What I need to learn is how to weather the ups and downs in my mood; how to ride the wave of life's challenges, fluctuating hormones, and even the season of the year (SAD is coming). I know what to eat and not eat. I know how much and I know how important exercise is to my body and mind.

I worked out with the sisters this morning. I then ate a giant sandwich - homemade sourdough, locally made Gouda cheese and probably my last "summer" tomato. The last time I had bread was February in San Francisco... Why now? Other than my friend dropping off a "thank you" loaf of bread; I have no clue what possessed me; and for the record, my stomach feels like its holding a lead brick. I hate this feeling....It's my equivalent of a hangover... Meh. 

And, like with a hangover, I'm full of regret and "never again". 

Maybe this time it will stick. 

Salad is dinner. Back to basics. 

Thursday, September 13, 2018

I'm Still Here...

So much has happened this last month of summer. My oldest went off to college so I lost my driver of younger one who is busy school stuff and horses. I miss my girl and even though she calls every other day - the house is a little emptier. My youngest misses her as well. They've become great friends over the last year; which is something that makes me happy.

I like my job for the most part, but working more than 40 and still trying to figure out how to juggle commitments at work and the basics of grocery shopping and laundry. It is such an adjustment - more than I ever thought it would be.

The DH still hasn't caught on and I about ready for an intervention.

As usual, I am neglecting ME - my exercise, diet and general well being are not where they should be. I need to get it together - set some boundaries, establish routines.

Today I go back to the doctor for thyroid check.

I'm definitely expecting to see a weight gain and I'm pretty sure (judging from my level of exhaustion, mood, and scratchy/sore throat) my TSH levels are high.

Friday, July 27, 2018

A Weekly Check-in

184.5 after a day at work and a bladder full of coffee. I'm trying to get used to seeing what the scale says at every hour of the day and desensitizing myself to the numbers I see; knowing that the fluctuations can be crazy... up to 5 pounds either way from my 182-ish current number... But I know I'm not consistent with the plan... sticking to it one day and throwing caution to the wind the next. It's SO hard. For exercise, I walk twice a day - a few miles in the morning with my neighbor and 3 miles at night around the lake. It's not a "cardio" workout, but it's better than nothing.  Hiking this week was postponed because of the rain... waiting for another day that works for everyone. I'm really so pre-occupied with work that I've definitely become #2 on the list.

And hopefully that will change when I get into a rhythm.

Friday, July 20, 2018


The weeks have felt LONG... The last few hours feel like an eternity. I am so glad it's FRIDAY. I have hopes of making a delicious salad for dinner; taking the dog for a walk around the lake, doing some shopping for my oldest who still has another month at camp and looking forward to collecting my little one (15+years old) tomorrow morning - with the dog... My oldest begged me to bring her; though it means no stopping along the way  (we're 3 hours from home) and we'll have to picnic for lunch since we  DON'T LEAVE DOGS IN HOT CARS!!!  It won't be raining so we'll be fine.

And next week will be a new adventure with one kid back at home... The one that doesn't drive yet... Will be interesting....

Thursday, July 19, 2018

July Appointment / Thyroid and weigh in

This morning's appointment was good - my T4 was down to 4.0 (the high side of NORMAL) and my weight was 182.0. I'm not going to beat myself up about ONLY losing 1.5 pounds this month; but you know I'm thinking about it. I can do better. It's always hard for me to lose weight in the summer. You'd think the opposite; but with all the BBQs, parties, late dinners, and now sitting on my butt for 8 hours a day... it's tough. I have to find time for intentional exercise.

Monday I'm taking a day to go hiking with the sisters. We're doing the same 13 mile loop as last year and I'm a little anxious about it. I remember how crappy I felt last year and here I am in slightly less shape about to do it again... I have to get out of my head.

And still no kitty.

And I pick up the little one Saturday. Hard to believe she's been gone a month.

Thursday, July 12, 2018

Big Kitty Still Missing!

My girls are going to be sad. Big Kitty is still missing! I've posted flyers, flooded social media, called Animal Control and the local shelters. I live downtown so the likelihood of coyotes or fisher cats is small... I miss this guy!

I told my kids that he's been on an adventure - our other "little kitty" was gone for a month last fall; stuck in the neighbors basement... I know not to give up hope, but I need answers - even if the worst has happened! It really is the not knowing.

In other news, the dog is better - back to her happy self. I've taken her on 2 long walks this week around the lake so she's well exercised and has played with "friends" at dog beach. It takes the guilt away from working 8+ hours/day now.

I'm going to weigh in tomorrow and I've been on a roll this week with food choices and an actual plan so I hope it shows. I am exactly one week away from my official doctor's office weigh in where I'd be happy with any number in the 170's - though I've been as high as 185 this last month.... I'm hiking with the sister's again on July 23, so I have to step up my game with HILLS training after work - or the dreaded stair climber at the gym. I want to enjoy my day without struggling like I did last year... and the year before that....

Wednesday, July 04, 2018

Happy 4th!

The girls have been gone for almost 2 weeks. I miss them... AND I'm busy so it's not the way it was when they were younger. I went to my friends house last weekend. It was FUN and filled me up. All my "Girls Weekend" friends, plus a few husbands. The highlight was a day at the beach - one only accessible by boat with just a few people and a bunch of seals. You can see how desolate. We spent the whole day, had a picnic, walked the shore, and a few of us (not me) swam. The temps were low 80's (unlike the 90s at home) and just a light breeze. I did not burn. Great Day!

Unfortunately I came home to a sick dog. After 2 full days of vomiting and diarrhea with no response to all of my home remedies we were off to the vet for tests, fluids and meds.. Hemorrhagic gastroenteritis is the diagnosis
and the treatment is soft, bland, food (baby food, boiled chicken and rice) until she's back to normal. She was so spent after the vet that she did nothing but sleep on the kitchen floor. I honestly worried that she was dead she was so still. The next day she wanted to go for her walk, drank a bit of water and ate a small jar of baby food. She was definitely not well, but seemed a little better. This morning she went for a walk, ate chicken and rice and sat outside with us for morning coffee- still not "normal", but acting more herself. I love my dog...

And I love my cat too - who is no where to be found this morning, and this is totally out of his character... My pets will be the death of me!!!

We're heading to my sister's on the lake for a BBQ. It will be weird without the girls, but also nice to not have to pack towels, sunscreen, clothes for the family. I'm bringing a chopped salad and the menu is grilled salmon. We are all about the healthy options these days. I've been pretty decent with my food. Only exception is snacking on air popped corn with a tablespoon of melted whipped butter. I think the biggest issue is being bored at night and watching too much tv. I haven't been in a mood to read for a few months. I'm going to +try+ to find a beach book to get me back in the habit. Any suggestions would be appreciated.