So, if there was one thing I did not want to do this morning it was run. Excuses? I had a whole bucket full of them... Bottom line - I just wasn't into it and I really don't know why. I know I got myself all in a panic because I started thinking about my annual girl's weekend, April 18th. I am exactly the same weight as I was last year and feel exactly the same way about it. FAT and PISSED OFF!
Is that anger and frustration focused? Am I doing what I need to do? NO.
Again, I ask the question: WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?! How can I have 3 weeks in a row with NO weight loss? It makes no sense. I don't like how I look or feel at my current weight, yet instead of being moved to change, REALLY CHANGE my eating habits, I continue to play the same stupid games with food and exercise. I do enough to tell myself that I am doing something. I run a little, I write down what I eat -BUT - I don't do it long enough or hard enough and I don't measure or plan or count calories. It's like finishing 60% of a test, because a D is a passing grade. Well, it just isn't good enough any more.
Fat people who become thin - What is it for them that made it all work THIS TIME? I have been fat for too long. I have been thinner. I know what it's like to shop for clothes that I like versus clothes that just fit. I know what I feel like when I am healthy. I remember. So why do I stay here in fat land? What is it that's keeping me here?
So I contemplated NOT running and decided that I needed to just walk to the end of the street. If I needed to come home after that I could. I walked/ran 3.1 miles.
1 comment:
Hey, I am not thin YET, but I know this is my time. I know it's different. I spent ten years where you are... doing a little but not enough. I guess for me the difference now is I just force myself to stick to it whether I want to or not. Measure, count, bike. Just do it. And after awhile, ya lose enough that it builds on itself and you don't want to eat bad anymore.
Just don't give up. Keep trying :)
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