A little irked....

One of my "teammates" for BigLoser competition at the Y bagged last week. She didn't weigh in and she didn't finish the workouts; and in effect we are eliminated from the contest. One week and we would have won a prize --- we've been in 2nd or 3rd for the entire competition. I am a little irked. I don't like it when decisions are made for me; I don't like when people don't fulfill their end of the bargain.

As for the competition, I've lost 12 lbs (an average of 1 pound per week) and I am glad for that. I am asking to have some form of this "contest" to continue on. It is nice to be accountable --- it was the only reason I ever went to WW to be honest. I will still weigh in this Friday too.

Today is my BIRTHDAY. I am 43, though I feel like I am too young to have this number. I don't weigh what I wanted to, but I am still as committed to continuing the fight to lose the final 25 lbs. I want to have a great race season; I want to feel good about myself; I want to bust out of my depressive symptoms and move forward. My DH and I are going to spend the day together this Saturday - the first in a LONG time (like a year?) and hopefully we'll be able to reconnect and start fixing our relationship. We are a family for better or worse and I am realizing that I have to do more to make it better instead of being so down about how sucky it is. Maybe then I'll be able to FEEL better...

At least it is SPRING. I love the light, the new growth, and the fact that I've got very little grunt work left in the yard. The fun stuff is coming -rearranging perenials, buying some flowers and veggies. My neighbor and I are going to do a garden together.... This Saturday my sisters and I are getting the bikes out for a nice ride --- the official first of the season! I get to wear my new stuff (helmet, screaming orange shirt) Yeah!!