Pre-Vacation STRESS...

Why would I let spilled coffee ruin my morning? This spot on my shirt just irritates me but I'm pretty sure it's just leaving on vacation tomorrow; I'm feeling out of sorts; my mood sucks...

This week was crazy busy and I haven't made time to exercise other than walking the dog and that doesn't count. I've worked lots, had meetings, drove the little one, my mom and my sister to lessons appointments, interviews and made a daylong visit to see the teen at camp yesterday. Seven hours of driving was a little more than exhausting and we'll be back in the car tomorrow for the two hour trip to the beach. The idea of relaxation sounds heavenly, but I've got a ways to go... Nothing is packed, nothing is made. We're going with my sister and her family and she is TYPE A; already planned meals; ordered food and ready to jump in the car tomorrow.... I feel I'm quite the opposite and pressured to measure up and make an equal contribution.

Breathe.

The DH has a job offer, though nothing yet in writing. I'd really like to leave tomorrow knowing...I am VERY thankful that the layoff was less than 2 weeks and we can seamlessly transfer to a new position, once we figure out the insurance.

And I need to focus on what I can do; and what is in my control. Packing, making food, getting the animals situated for the neighbors caring for them.

I'm feeling REALLY FAT this week. That's not at all positive or kind, but it is how I feel. I'm so sick of my clothes not fitting - or trying to buy new ones that don't even look presentable. Notice how I don't write "look good" because nothing looks good when your 50 lbs overweight. Meh. I haven't been on the scale. I log food sometimes. I want to be better. I haven't been eating too much too often, but I have to cut back. PERIOD. I just feel like I moving along, nothing deliberate, planned, intentional... AND I can do better... And I'm in a bad mood...