Every year I go away with my high school friends. We started the tradition over 20 years ago and I've only missed maybe 3. I love these women. We laugh til our faces hurt and even though I only see many of them once or twice a year, we have no problem picking up where we left off. I'll be there Wednesday and return early Sunday (Easter) morning.
To prepare, I've reserved a restaurant for Easter Brunch (so no one has to bother taking "my" holiday), and I know my girls' schedules for when I'm gone, making sure they have rides and money. As for the DH, he *should* be at work through Friday and there's a party Saturday for a cousin so there's little chance of anything out of the ordinary happening in my absence... I hope.
In the past, the DH has bought the kids hamsters, fish tanks, video game systems, and pierced ears for little one when she was 8; Those were the biggies... Every year I get anxious - worried about the teen and her unpredictable illness, worried about the animals - will they really get fed, walked?, worried about the state of the house. There were many years when I've felt punished for taking this time away because of the mess I faced coming home. Even though the kids are older I still get this pit in my stomach.
And I'm going.
And I've been so bitchy these last few days. And I know it's anxiety about the leaving. And the guilt I still harbor about not being here.
And I'm going.
I have to figure out how to feel better about taking care of myself.
6 comments:
I really hope you can just let go of the 'stuff' and go and enjoy yourself. Whatever happens while you're gone you can't control all you can control is how you react when you get back. I hope you won't let it overshadow your time to yourself - THAT YOU DESERVE!
The girls' weekend sounds WONDERFUL, and I'm betting that that restores a person enough to make you a better wife and mother. Plus, as Enz correctly noted - you deserve it! Your husband is the one who needs to agree to "no surprises" for you, but if you can't get him to sign on to that... You still deserve to let go and enjoy, so I hope you can. We can't pour from an empty cup, and this sounds like it really refills your cup! So go and enjoy. Give yourself permission to release, even, especially, if no one else will.
I could so have written this when I was still with my ex. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
I have spent my whole life worrying about things while I'm away. And feeling guilty, like I don't deserve to have those fun times. So I can relate to how you feel about your girls weekend. You go and have a great time and it will all be fine. You deserve it!
Sorry, I should have said - "make you an EVEN better wife and mother." Go and enjoy!
The weekend away sounds like a lot of fun. What are you feeling guilty about? Wanting to do things you enjoy and have fun? Do you think your husband or kids ever feel guilty for doing that? You deserve it as much as they do. Go, have fun, take this time to unwind!
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