Thursday, August 18, 2005

I read a lot of blogs...

I read a lot of blogs. Some, well most of my daily reads are inspirational. Others are the equivalent of train wrecks – you just keep on reading because you can’t believe how whacked / out of touch / bizarre someone else’s thought processes can be from you own.

I have one read in particular that I found 3 years ago through 3FCs. She’s mid 30s – like me, and has about the same amount of weight to lose. At the time I was training for my first triathlon, as was she, but this is where the similarities end. She did the tri – I did the tri and that was it for her… She had a lot of excuses for poor weight loss, poor performance and poor motivation. Since that first (and her last) tri, she has been excusing herself from regular exercise (fibromi-something, arthritis, etc.,) and concocted a string of quick fix diets to get to her goal, which is (as far as I can determine) to be able to shop in Vegas boutiques and look HOT! She goes on and on and on about how it was in her previous life; when she was at goal and apparently the envy of all; and now she is just a fat. She keeps talking about how her self-esteem and self-image are great and that it’s all about her body image (a la Dr. Phil). She seems to re-start and recommit every few weeks (this is it, Day 1, let’s get it on, finding her authentic self) setting new goal dates with outrageous goal weights attached to them. She then writes for a few days and disappears until the goal date has passed and she has to start anew. Her life is always wonderful; it’s just the weight that’s keeping her down.

Why am I ranting about a complete stranger? Probably because in all of her cattiness I see myself – just not so extreme… I want to lose this weight I have been carrying and part of it does involve vanity. I keep setting goals and not reaching them. I eat too much. I gain weight. I am consumed by this weight and the desire to change. I am no better than she is… Well, hopefully I am not so shallow.
That said – I made it to the gym this morning for 3+ miles on the treadmill (spin was cancelled L). I have been OP and logging my food now since 8/9. Not long yet, but you have to start somewhere. I didn’t see the number I wanted this week, but I am confident in what I will see next week. I want this to be the time it all CLICKS!

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