Re-grouping...

I should be out running, but I SO needed a morning to catch up on my blogs and drink a pot of coffee ALONE... Daisy Doodle will get a walk in a little while, but a run is just not in me today. (These should not be the thoughts of someone doing an Olympic Distance Triathlon in less than 4 weeks...Oh well...)

I NEED to get on the scale. I know it won't be pretty, but it's got to happen if I want start losing again. I can't put my head in the sand and continue eating mindlessly and think that it won't have an impact on my weight. Back at it - JOURNAL, MOVE BODY, BUY SOME VEGETABLES...

I don't know what's happening, but it seems like many of the bloggers I have faithfully read over the years have started slipping into old patterns, have stopped blogging all together, or have shifted the focus of their writing from diet and fitness to kids or television or travel or home repair.... I find myself searching for some new motivation and inspiration. I recognized that life is not static - but shouldn't taking care of yourself be a priority? Isn't it important for all other aspects of your life and relationships to be healthy in mind and body? I have struggled with my weight my entire life. It makes me sad to think that I have wasted so much time and effort and money looking for the magic bullet that would make me thin and happy. The only thing I have found is that there is no magic bullet. I will never accept my FAT self; it's not healthy, it does not work for me. This is why I have this blog. It keeps me focused and it serves as a constant reminder to take care of myself.

However, my focus has changed from vanity to health --- I'm not trying to fit into size 8 Calvin Kleins anymore. Rather, I don't want to be stuck in a wheelchair when I am 70 b/c my knees don't hold me up. This blog is my way of being accountable regardless of who reads it. I can look back over the years and see my struggles with apathy. I can see how proud I was for finishing a marathon. I can see how happy I was to reach a new low on the scale. I can see how far I have come. It makes me realize that I have to keep going. I will continue to blog about my quest for fitness and if I find myself ignoring my tight pants or blogging about a new set of curtains, I will remember this post and kick myself in the butt! Bad times will happen; I'll fall off the wagon for sure, but I will chase after it and jump back on time and time again. No excuses!!