Tuesday, February 22, 2011

It's just NOT my week...

I'm pretty sure I will show a gain tomorrow. I just finished logging all of my food into the WW e-tools website and I am at negative 17 points for the week... Much has to do with the cupcakes I made with my youngest, complete with butter/creamed cheese frosting... My stomach is killing me... Stupid.... stress related... stuff your face because you think you should... b/c you have a right... (to be fat???) It's been a bad week....

My oldest had a sledding incident this weekend. I saw the crash out of the corner of my eye while drinking coffee in my sister's kitchen. My brother is a paramedic and first out the door. I waited inside... I had a sort of "I don't want to know" kind of feeling... She came in, not crying, but hurt. She tends to be a bit of drama queen and the lack of tears should have been a sign that she was not right. Alas, there was no real swelling (yet) but we put on the ice and let her sit as we continued with our family visit... Consensus was it would be bruised or sprained, but not a big deal. As we left 2 hours later, walking was out of the question. By the time we got home I decided it would be best to know one way or another --- we were off to the ER.

4 broken metatarsals.... one of them dislocated... "She'll probably need surgery." remarked the ER doc.... Luckily we were able to get in with an ortho - doc today... For now no surgery, but cast and ice, elevation and no weight on it. What a great winter vacation!!!

Of course I feel guilty (I am a mother). I am worried about how she will heal, if she will be OK. I am worried about her mental state - no sports or activity really for 6 weeks. I worry about school and how she will get around on crutches... Her poor armpits are already sore....

So what does all this mean for my diet? Honestly I was fine until the cupcakes.... It was a momentary lapse of reason, a stupid kind of warped sense of entitlement that defies all logic. My goals are clear - to lose weight, be healthy and strong... I want to get to the gym and to do that I need to see 170... Going backwards will not help at all... I recommit NOW. This is it!

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