Waiting for Santa

I typically do not like Christmas. I hate the chore of decorating, knowing that I'll have to repack it all in less than a month. I love the smell of the tree, but the needles are everywhere and I know the floor is trashed from watering. I used to love to prep and cook and now I am  A P A T H E T I C !  Sad, but true. I know a big part of me is depressed this time of year. I think  know my husband is too. He is no fun at all!

I so want my kids to know the true meaning of Christmas; to have traditions, to enjoy the anticipation, but I fear they are feeding off my negative energy. I just need to STOP and re-frame and try harder. In my perfect world the husband would be helpful and thoughtful. The house would be cheerful and bright and clean. There would be no yelling or sour faces. There would be no drinking. There would be presents but not too many... Everyone would chip in and help,  happily go to church and remember why this holiday exists. Christmas Eve would come to a peaceful close with hot chocolate and peppermint tea while watching a classic on TV - Elf? The kids would happily go to bed and fall asleep quickly. And then...

I have a choice to make and I am choosing to be happy. I am choosing to ignore the negative and focus on what is good. I will not stress. I will run, or walk, or whatever...