A few weeks ago I was having one of my "moments" - hopeless tears, anxiety. I don't remember why I was upset. I only know that I was very focused on getting to my therapist and talking it out. It was a good strategy until she texted moments later that she wasn't feeling well and had to reschedule. My first reaction was anger - WTF? The next reaction I had was "I can work through this" and I did. I tried to reschedule for later that week and she was booked... and I wondered to myself if at this point I needed to continue? I was doing OK.
I like my therapist quite a bit. She's very thorough and does what she says. She offers practical advice and understands how complicated things are in my life. She knows what I can handle. AND these are my problems; my issues; my life. She has helped me with tools and strategies and it is my responsibility to use them (or not). This is her job. She cares, but she is not my friend. I think I expected her to care more and I was confusing her role. I made an appointment for the following week which I went to yesterday. I was bothered by the time... noon; right in the midst of my day, but I recognized there was more to my angst. I needed a break.
Too many appointments, too many things to deal with or not deal with...It's too much!
The door is open. I can call anytime. I felt free that I said what I needed to... Big Sigh!
I have so much going on over the next month. Things to enjoy and things to endure. The DH is having some issues at work, the little one is transitioning to full on annoying "teen 2" and I have to put together the plan to keep it all together. The first priority is my health. Thyroid retest today. See where the numbers are... Continue with the antidepressant... Continue the WW experiment. Climb Mt. Washington next week... Spend the following weekend with the teens and send them both back to camp for 2 weeks.... Enjoy summer for a bit.... Taking a break!
On the WW front, I went, but opted for a silent weigh in. I don't know what the number is or if I lost or gained. It doesn't matter. I used the day as a reset. I met my exercise goal for the week and upped it to 118 points this next week. I'm not sure when I'll weigh in next week since I'm climbing a mountain, but I won't skip it - either Tuesday or Thursday, it will get done. I'm trying Pure Protein for breakfast, hoping it will hold me. It's a good "2 Point" option with 23 grams of protein!