Thursday, May 25, 2017

THURSDAY - Exposure Therapy

I forgot to weigh first thing and had already downed my water and first mug of coffee so I considered not doing it and then... I decided to call it Exposure Therapy and hopped on the scale.

Wow - 2lbs up? And its probably 30 ounces of liquid... And the sky didn't fall... I'm working MY program and I am confident that today will be a great food day because that's what I'm focusing on.

I went to spin yesterday, went way over in steps and ate decent. I was SUPER hungry for some reason and settled for MALL hibachi - teriaki chicken with vegetables - no rice.... but then caved on a rice crispy treat and made air popped popcorn with butter for my dinner because I just craved it - carbs? sweet? who knows. Was I stressed? YUP.

The teen lost a school election. She was bummed and I was nervous and disappointed for her too. I tried not to feed into her emotion and step back. It was not easy. The little one is being a TEEN. She was all excited about a her student council election. We went out, bought all the things necessary for her awesome campaign poster and she is now refusing to bring it to school to hang up; and is reconsidering her decision to run at all. (nothing to do with her sister). Whatever (UGH!) She applied for and was hired at the local supermarket. We did all the running around to get her work permit signed and submitted and she's been waiting a month now for them to call her and schedule hours. I told her to go in and talk to the manager. She's refused and doesn't think she even wants to work there. I WANT TO RIP MY HAIR OUT!  It made me SO mad I could not even talk to her.

I know they both need to feel and experience the consequences of their actions. It's painful to watch them lose at something they tried for... but even more painful to see them not even try... It upsets me to think that my kids either don't appreciate how great they have it; don't understand how much they are given. I am all done giving. My girls need to grow up. They need to understand that things are not free. I will make sure  they are fed and clothed but I'm all done with the extras - If they want something bad enough they can pay for it themselves.

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