Prep Day and Holiday Assessment

I took the whole day off today, even though colonoscopy prep doesn't start til this afternoon. I was feeling a little guilty and considered going into work for a few hours, but once the kids left for school, I settled in; still in my jammies and ready to putter through the day. I have laundry to finish and stuff to pick up from tree decorating last night. I'll wrap presents, pay the bills and file away all the paper on my desk. I want to run to the store for pet food and stocking stuffers at a time when it won't be crazy busy; then I'll be DONE with Christmas and get to spend the rest of the week enjoying the season?! I hope.

I hope I feel well enough tomorrow to go to yoga. I really like the teacher and it's the finale class of her Chakra series. The restorative class last night was awesome. It's a total mental recharge for the week and I have an appointment Wednesday to try the spa out - salt room, sauna, steam room... I need to keep asserting that self care is important, not optional and I should never feel guilty about it. I still do though; like it's wrong or overly extravagant. I'm fortunate to have these facilities close by; and as I can fit it into the budget I need to keep going.

Now if I can reign in the eating of crap... I still have a cold-sinus thing which could just be too much dairy... Since I am fasting today, it's a good time to recommit to eating real food and no sugar/white flour. I'm planning the menu and shopping list for Christmas eve - Christmas day and food will include things I enjoy that are good for me and my family.

The teen is GREAT this year (with few exception). She is cheerful and doing better about taking the reigns of her life. She's still anxious and nervous and self-doubting; which I have to acknowledge is NORMAL for an 18 year old senior. The little one is bitchy and rude and self absorbed and ungrateful and while it makes me feel sad for the loss of who she was, I know this is NORMAL behavior for a freshman. I am grateful for my girls. They are my gift.

The DH has had a better year, though I can see the holiday season is never a good time for him. He's slipped with his diet, he's drinking a little more often and his mood can turn on a dime. He's self-centered, self-absorbed, and I expect very little in terms of thoughtfulness for Christmas. Once I expressed an interest in the new spa he said "Great, now I know what to buy you for a present so you won't be pissed..." The sentiment left me wanting... And the girls are starting to chime in; and I fully expect that they will drag him kicking and screaming to CVS to ensure that my stocking is not empty again this year. He's working hard though and a lot of hours at the new job which I fully appreciate; and I know there is a desire in him to do better, and that's really what's important.