What am I going to do?

I didn't go to yoga yesterday, but I did keep my walking date and hit more than 16K steps. The weather was a balmy 36 degrees, the sun was bright. It felt SO good to be moving; slush be damned! Vitamin D! Happy Dog!

And then... school let out, and the teen came home; trashed the kitchen with snacks and left to go to a friend's house with specific orders to pick her up at 4:30 so she could go to the gym with her sister; letting me know that I'm not invited. One word answers about school and activities; and rude.. "What?! I didn't do anything?!" I'm really so irked with them lately; specifically the little one, but they both have their moments. I know our lives are fluid; I know that changes are always happening; and I'm not sure if it's me; or  have my kids become assholes? Perhaps it's a combination of both?

MEH.

Is it my lack of understanding; or my inability to adjust the reason I am eating so much? Is it boredom? Is it a hunger for something that I'm looking to satiate with food? I honestly want to get to the bottom of this latest gain and stop it - reverse it before it gets further out of hand. This is what I know:

I typically have S.A.D.D. (Seasonal Affect Depressive Disorder). I get lethargic, unmotivated and scattered and cry a lot... Some years it's really bad and I take Prozac and some years like this one - nothing. It's nearly mid January and the days are getting longer... Can I soldier through?

I no longer have my small support system.  My youngest daughter used to be a dependable companion. I enjoyed our relationship - we talked, I could help her with homework or projects; we watched TV together, cooked, went to the gym... and now I am an UBER and a wallet. I know she is "normal"; I know this situation is normal and I haven't figured out how to manage it yet. I know when my eldest was at her worst I looked to my youngest daughter for stability; knowing DH was barely able to cope himself and NOT a beacon of support for me.... That was a bad move on my part; I totally own it, and I need to continue to move out of this pattern, reconnect with DH and friends outside of my family and live MY LIFE. I need to be proactive and not reactive. I need less time alone.

I am conflicted about graduate school? Am I?
I am conflicted about work... going full-time in July... is this what I want to be doing?
I am stressed about money? Paying for teen's college, making house repairs, refinancing debt...

And I feel like I'm looking for SOMETHING...

I felt inspired by something I read on Runs for Cookies. Katie's post on maintaining weight loss was so insightful and definitely struck a cord with me. I've thought a lot about not falling for anymore traps or "quick fixes" and trying to focus on what I'm doing now and what I have to change to get to a point where I am again satisfied with my weight and feel healthy.

PICK ONE HABIT THAT WILL HAVE THE BIGGEST IMPACT AND CHANGE IT.

Endless eating from 3-7.... Grazing on weekends...

AND WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE TO DO INSTEAD; YOU MUST BE WILLING TO DO FOREVER.

Working on this part...