Friday, August 14, 2009

Can Sad Girls Lose Weight?

I had my last swim clinic of the season. DONE. It was tough to get up this morning- 5:00 a.m. is dark. It was even harder to get into the lake, but I did -weeds and all- and I swam a little, helped a few people, and served as buoy for sighting and drills. My back is still tweaked. I used the weightlessness of the water to stretch in all sorts of directions and when I got home I took a nice hot shower. I am supposed to ride this Sunday, so hopefully I'll be in a better state.

This week at Borders I saw a posting for a study on effective weight loss for people that suffer from depression... I called and I qualify. I'll get all of the particulars in a few weeks, but basically it's a 2 year study. Months 1-6 include weekly meetings, nutritional and fitness counseling; months 7-12 weekly phone calls from a coach, monthly visits for weight checks, months 13-26 include quarterly check-ins, followed by a final physical in week 26. I'll be paid a small stipend.... Yup, they'll pay me to lose weight?! I guess it's all in the name of science. I am very excited to get started.

My weight this summer has been a battle for maintenance. There has been no losing and even though I weigh less than I did a year ago, I am still fat. The proof is in the pictures. It doesn't matter how good I feel, 185 pounds is still bordering obese. My DH says that I exercise all the time and I shouldn't have to worry about how much I weigh... I say I am sick of being the fattest person in spin class, or doing a race, or being a lifeguard. People are not inspired by fat...Not that I am looking to inspire anyone... Actually I just want to be one of the crowd, I don't want to stand out at all... 30 pounds would do it for me, and it would probably help my back feel a whole lot better.

1 comment:

Lyn said...

I get it. And yes, sad girls can lose weight, but maybe getting to the root of the sad and working on *that* improves quality of life more than weight loss. Maybe?

Although I totally get wanting to just be normal.