Monday, September 13, 2010

My daughter has a mood disorder. I love her, but it is a struggle nearly every day. She can be rude, demanding, mean, aggressive. Homework is impossible; showers and nightly rituals can end in screaming fits or broken toys. Counter to everything you might read in the parenting magazines - for a kid with bipolar, confrontation or correction is akin to poking a hornets nest with a really short stick. You just don't do it.

She's being treated, she sees a therapist and she is beginning to recognize how this illness works with her and that it affects our whole family. Of course she's only 10 so we are no where near where we want to be in terms of creating coping mechanisms to take her through life...

So I've spent the last week trying to gather strenth and amunition to talk to her new teacher and hopefully work out a way to get my kid through the 5th grade. Since she's smart and not failing, she doesn't qualify for an IEP, and I am just now looking into a 504. I can't tell you how blindsided I was by the whole SPED bureaucracy, and the hostile enviroment the school puts up. I am barely to the point in my acceptance of this illness that I can make it through a discussion without crying. I don't want to cry.

I wanted her to be OK this year, but clearly she is not - I am not willing to 'wait and see' this year.

Why here? I guess I am writing about this here because it affects me deeply and could be part of the reason for my stress and my need to eat. It's why I can't get to the gym or go out at night to a yoga class. It can be very isolating. I guard the secret because of the stigma. I don't want my kid to be teased or labeled or shunned. I hate it; and I've said many times that I wish it were cancer - at least then you can talk about it; people want to help you. With bipolar, people want to either question the diagnosis or quietly retreat; never to be heard from again. SAD. So I'll work through the stress, try and keep my composure and be healthy.

I know I have to take care of ME to take care of everyone else. Thank goodness for Miss Agnes! Love my dog!!

2 comments:

trifitmom said...

wait, she has a diagnose of bipolar and she can't get an iep ??? my daughter is 6 has ocd and has an iep....i had to go twice before the child study team but i had many reports with me and i video taped one of her fits. there was no way i was sending her without the proper help. we just started her on zoloft as well and it has been a major help.

Lynne said...

Shocking I know, but not out of the norm. If your kid is holding it together all day... GOOD for them-the school- BAD for you and your kid who melts down as soon as she gets home. I will never go into another IEP meeting alone... I will have an advocate next time....