Monday, January 16, 2012

I can't believe myself.

I went off the deep end yesterday afternoon. I bought a muffin top on my way to work (right after eating breakfast so I know it was not out of hunger). I munched on it all afternoon and then came home and suggested pizza for dinner. I ate 4 pieces and the crust of another. I felt ill and guilty and mad at myself.

I can not honestly pinpoint why? I had a decent afternoon at work, my kids were fine when I got home and the house was pretty much as I left it.

Things I am "upset" about are miniscule in the grand scheme - my DH did not rent a car though he was supposed to drop his off Monday morning at the autobody. He didn't call the insurance company... It was all something I could have taken care of, but I really wanted him to step up since I do everything else. He failed, as I predicted, and it's annoying and disappointing --- Heck, it bugs me!

But here's the kicker: If I knew he would screw it up, why didn't I do it myself and avoid the whole stress fest? There is a very unhealthy pattern here, and I want to figure out why something as stupid as this could cause me to eat to excess - the "wrong foods" and way too much of them!

This morning - yogurt, orange... and if my daughter goes off to her friend's house I can get to the gym... My early morning intentions of working out were foiled by a minus 5 !! Have I mentioned how much I hate winter?

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