RENEWAL

Later this morning I'm meeting my sister for a return visit to the hypnotist. It's a recharge of sorts, a renewal of the commitment I made last December. I feel a little sloppy in my eating; not really adhering to the "rules" of the plan. I am indeed healthier than I have been in a while, but I am not ready to claim victory over the fat that has smothered me the last two decades. I honestly don't know what to expect or exactly why I am going, but I know it's time. I need some focus in my life.

The end of summer is usually a time of the F#*K - ITS... I have a hard time exercising with any intensity and I certainly don't want to commit to any endurance events. I would like to break this cycle - and that is my mini goal . I went to the gym Saturday morning and realized how much I want to work out with regularity. I like the people, atmosphere and structure of a class. I have to carve out a time that will consistently work for me and I think it may involve changing my work schedule slightly so I can exercise in the morning. I'm still working it through.

This weekend is the Pan Mass Challenge. My sister and I did 30 miles Sunday and I felt tired, but fine. I think the ride will be challenging, but doable. I am looking forward to a fun, uplifting weekend.

My kids are at camp until August 10. As usual, I've planned a lot of things - painting, cleaning, Pan Mass, work, the list is endless and a bit overwhelming. I need to just pick three things, do them and call it a successful 'stay-cation'. I need to focus some time on the husband as well. He's not in a great place right now and I'd like him to know that I'll support whatever he needs - but he needs to figure that out and clue me in. We are way out of sync. It's not good.

I'll make sure I cherish a few ME moments as well. School looms on the horizon and I am beginning to dread what is to come. I do hope for the best, but I am realist. For now, renew.