Monday, November 25, 2013


I really pine for the 'good old days', when my kids were young and I was home. We had our schedules, they had their predictable issues and we just flowed. I am sure I am forgetting a lot, but my memories are that even if we had a bad day, it was all manageable... My workload was no less, but the work was not taxing my mental health the way my family problems do now. I feel overwhelmed this morning and on the edge of tears. It could be my monthly cycle kicking in, or the darkness or the most recent exploits of my wonderful teenage daughter, or a combination of them all. My house is TRASHED as well and the disorder truly adds to my anxiety.  I really just want to go home, put on the electric blanket, crawl in and read my book.

A lovely thought, but life goes on...

My Thanksgiving job is to make cranberry sauce, green beans, and maybe some sort of pumpkin desert. I feel like doing none of it, but I will... I need to get a grip on the mood and pull up NOW.

I need to RUN. I know it makes me feel better; I know it will help ease the affects of a moody teen. I know that it will make the 5 miles I run Thursday morning, a piece of cake. I completed my FIRST weekly 10 mile goal and I am 50% finished my monthly goal of 40 miles which will end Dec 10. I feel good about that - especially since I went out and ran a mile Saturday afternoon so that I would make the 10 miles... Running today and Thursday will make week #2 an easy feat! One foot in front of the other....

My diet is not bad, but not where I want it to be. I ate nuts (again) yesterday. It was partly out of necessity, but I still felt like I was doing something I shouldn't.  When I choose to alter my diet I should embrace it and not feel guilty about it. I think it needs to be a conscious decision, not a thoughtless impulse. Picking up the package at the store was not thoughtful; neither was eating it all up.

I want to make sure that I don't return to the habit of stress eating. I want to find other outlets when that feeling hits. I know this time of year is stressful for most people and every year I try to figure out how I can organize my life so that stress is not a factor. Every year I find it nearly impossible, but it doesn't mean I won't continue to try.

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