Thursday, December 26, 2013

Boxing Day is Pajama Day, but RESET Day for me

The day after Christmas is ALWAYS pajama day at our house. It's a day to play with your stuff, eat leftovers and watch too much TV. This year I have to work, but my kids are home and maybe my DH - his schedule seems to change depending on his mood, the moods of the kids and my needs. I'm not judging; it just IS. I will get home by 2:15 and pray that there was no cooking, or fights, and that the dog was able to plead her case for breakfast.

I had a pretty good Christmas minus last night when I was SO tired and just wanted to sleep, but it was only 8 pm; the kids still wanted to hang out and DH decided to go right to bed... REALLY? I begrudgingly got my jammies on, dozed in the chair watching reruns until 10 when MEAN MOM enforced bed. I could barely function. I left this morning before anyone else was up - including DH.  I did not have a good night's sleep again, so I'll have to keep myself in check today.

I am a little worried about my food experiences the last few days. I went off plan two days in a row after a year of clean living! Both days I made mostly conscious decisions. Christmas eve I ate homemade applesauce with whipped cream - ALONE and in secret, which was not good. Christmas Day I drank good champagne, mindlessly crunched the croutons on my salad (oops), chose a dark chocolate cookie and homemade chocolate mousse with whipped cream. TRUE CONFESSION. My thoughts yesterday were that people were watching - my sister and brother in law did not eat off plan... My brother said it was Christmas and OK and DH also claimed the Christmas defense, though he's been a little too free with that one for the last month...

I feel worried and guilty and determined. I don't want this to be a slippery slope where it's OK to eat whatever I choose if I can give it a good enough reason. Christmas, New Years, Halloween, Birthdays, Vacation... there could be MANY reasons to justify the food I put in my mouth, and I need to say NO.  I need to consider my hunger over how good things may taste. I don't regret yesterday. My sister LOVES putting on a good Christmas and I know that she appreciates that we enjoy her efforts and I did. I didn't over eat. I should really just let it go.

This morning I resolved to a clean day. Meat/veggies and NO yogurt or kefir. I feel a little bloated. I feel a little chubby. I am wearing "just out of the dryer" jeans with a belt that just fits. It's a good indicator of where I am weight-wise and I think this is as high as I want to be. What I really need to do is go for a run. Perhaps I'll figure out how to use my new FitBit and get out there this afternoon.

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