Monday, February 24, 2014

Stressing and Bitching

My husband makes me crazy. I think we need some marriage counseling. I really don't want things to contine the way they have been going. Rather than working to make things better; I think he does his best to do the opposite. I've been trying to let things slide. I've tried not expect anything so I won't be disappointed. I SO need a partner right now though; and it's very depressing that he has fallen short. He wonders why I am so stressed out... REALLY??

My kids have a busy week and I have to make sure they get to where they need to be with what they are supposed to have... Work, play practice, piano lessons, guitar lessons, church, riding lessons, 4-H visual presentation (big), horse show.... All of that PLUS I get to finish emptying three rooms of my house because the kitchen demo will happen Wednesday. The dumpster will be delivered tomorrow. Thank God for MOMS because mine is coming to help all day tomorrow. I took the day off so once the kids head off to school we'll be in full pack/clean out mode.

I am stressing out because of all the unknowns - how long will this take? how dirty will it get? how much access will we have to the house? will snow delay the work? how will my dog cope? how will my kids cope? how will we cope without a kitchen? can I stick to my eating plan without a kitchen?  I am someone that craves order and schedule. This process will provide neither, which is why I need to go to the gym; forget about the house and just go!

Today is WHOLE 30 - Day 15 - and I am perfectly happy with my food choices and definitely NOT feeling deprived. I've had some yummy salads with all sorts of veggies and olives and a great organic balsamic dressing with smoked salmon (4 oz pacs of wild salmon are excellent!). I eat a lot of eggs - I like eggs - and most of all I've been enjoying fruit for the first time in a year. I've tried to stick with what's in season right now - citrus (grapefruit) and mangos - cheap! It's nice to be able to GRAB something in a pinch, and I feel good know that nothing I eat is processed!  I honestly think I've found what I've been looking for all of these years. I feel healthy and free from that diet / weight watcher trap I've lived for DECADES. I know I will have struggles - everyone does, but I really will work through them because it feels so good to be maintaining.

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