Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Mean Mean Mom

My oldest, when she was two, would call me "Mean Mean Mommie" when I would deny a second cookie, discipline or enforce a rule. It's my go to name for myself whenever I present the consequences of not doing what's expected. Today I am "Mean Mean Mommie".

My youngest got home from two weeks at camp. As soon as we pulled in the driveway she HAD to go to the bathroom... with her phone that she probably missed more than anything. The discussion we had in the car about her helping to unpack and getting her things put away, sleeping bag aired out seemed to be forgotten.

The husband and I put the trunk and her other stuff on the deck outside where the laundry is located. I dumped out the laundry bag and got things started. After nearly an hour the little one appeared happy to be home and clueless about the look I gave her. "WHAT?!"in that snotty tween voice...  I asked that she wipe out her trunk and put away her camp things for next year. "I will."still snotty.

Since she just got home I figured I'd cut her some slack. The night went on, the laundry got done, but the camp things just sat. I went to bed. In the morning, the reaction was much the same "I said I'll do it ! What's the big deal?!" Fine. I don't want to be a nag, but "If it's not done before you go anywhere today; you can forget about any yes answers from me for the next 24 hours." As she walked out the door I made sure she knew that she had consequences as her stuff still sat on the stairs. Why she bothered asking me for a sleepover after she came home hours later and immediately put her things away is beyond me, but in front of her friend I reminded her - No - would be the only answer from me today.

But wait there's more. Her friend boards her horse at a different stable than my daughter rides at. I have never been there, but my initial impression from the friends of hers I met and the talk I've overheard, is that it is not well supervised and the clientele is less than responsible. The friend jumps without supervision and often rides without a helmet. The teens that she has befriended smoke, have quit school and have much bigger teen issues than I care to expose my 11 year old to... I know she's going to have to deal with tough things in the next decade and I hope I've given her the tools to make good decisions, but I don't want her life lesson to be a head or spinal cord injury; hers or someone else. I let her go today knowing that the older sister and another 16 year old who I trust from my daughter's barn would be there, and she still jumped a horse with her friend as a passenger. Bad decision.

Last time. I might have to call on the Meanest of Mean Moms...

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