Friday, September 12, 2014

Thinking Ahead

I am SO SO glad that this week is over. I know I shouldn't wish my life away, BUT getting this school schedule down is exhausting; and educating the girls about my role in getting them to and from their activities is going to be my death... First my teen still thinks it's optional to call and let me know where she is, who she's with and when she needs to be home... She's had a bad track record of not being truthful and I worry about her when she's not where she's suppose to be - A LOT!  I worry about her to the point of it being a problem for me. I feel a panic attack coming on and I get super irritated. I hate it. I know she's going to screw up.  I pray it won't be something really bad. I pray it won't be something that will scar or define the rest of her life. I pray.

My youngest is just on the 'entitled' track. "Take me early", "Pick me up at this time", "We're leaving in -x- minutes", "I don't have time for that (piano), I need to go NOW" Veruca,  "I don't have anything to wear!... I hate these cheap boots they're falling apart!... I'll just spend my own money cuz I'm not showing in these boots!" Patience is not something she knows much about... She is a good kid, but she is not perfect. She has expectations that I will just "stand by" until she's ready. I am a chauffeur, but I'm not her chauffeur... I would really like to work in some time for ME at the gym or otherwise. I can see a few windows, but it can only really work if everyone respects each other - shows up when they are supposed to, is waiting to be picked up when I arrive, and doesn't change plans at the last minute without considering others... Yeah, right.

I know this is my life for the next 8 years or so. I know I will miss them when they go to college. I know in the meantime they will make me crazy.

I am on my 5th day of medicine. I can't say that I notice any positive aspects yet, but there are certainly some negative ones - nausea, diarrhea... and of course having to get up at 4 a.m. to take it so I don't have to delay my breakfast ...

I am on my 7th day of FITBIT - and will start my official WHOLE30 + FITBIT Challenge Sunday. My sister invited me on a Yoga retreat October 17 and I want to be ready to participate fully. I pray my kids are OK and all in a good place. I pray my husband will be understanding and thoughtful and NOT leave me worried the whole time about what he might buy or how he might decorate the house when I'm gone. I just hope the cleaning is the following week...

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