I went to the p-doc and filled my script for Prozac today. I started taking it immediately. I have been so stressed out and so quick to cry that I knew I had to do something. I was so reactive to my teen's mood changes - escalating situations with my irritation and lack of patience which was helping no one. We've had a few rough weeks and I hope with the upcoming holiday we'll be able to all just get along. I really want the stress to dissipate and I want to enjoy my family. This med better start working soon!
I still have so much shopping to do. I don't know how it will get done, but the day will happen - presents or not and everyone will be just fine. I am close to having the cards sent out and if it weren't for the negative balance in my checking account I would take care of everything today since I am NOT using my credit card!!
I debated about canceling the house cleaners, but I really need them and scraped together enough to pay them today... I feel bad that there is no extra for a "gift" right now, but there really isn't. I'll take care of them in the New Year.
As for my food and my exercise - I've missed 2 Saturday workouts, but will not miss a third. I have been to the gym a few times, but nothing too intense - mostly just treadmill walking, jogging. My food hasn't been awful - BUT I am done with the sweets. I had this notion that "homemade" was OK to sample and I really just need to stay away from the flour and sugar for good. It doesn't support the body I want; it doesn't make me feel good.
I went to a party Saturday and felt AWFUL all day. The jeans I wore were TOO tight and never relaxed their hold on me. The shirt I chose was a tad too small and rode up all day - it was so uncomfortable that I never had an opportunity to relax and just enjoy the company. I hate feeling like that. Part of me is considering a session with the hypnotist to 'reboot' but $200 is just too much for me right now with all the bills looming for summer camp, vacation and the stupid kitchen. I need to just eat clean and eat when I am hungry. I need to follow the plan. It works when I do it.