Week 3 of my Spin Streak. My goal is to make it every Wednesday through the end of the school year. I write this now, because I haven't been there yet. I shouldn't have to talk myself into going...meh.
I am annoyed with the way I am behaving... chocolate, banana bread... What's the reason for eating things I wouldn't ever have touched just a few months ago? It's the slippery slope I fear and it has to stop... No, really...it has to stop.
The teen has midyear exams this week and doesn't have to go at all today. It makes no sense - the one with the learning issues doesn't go to school...and on MY day too! The nerve. At least I got a day off from the dreaded get the kid out of bed and to school routine that usually stresses my morning.
I've decided to stop setting goals. It just makes me feel bad when I blow them mere hours after writing them down. I am weak in the afternoons. I know it's the time of day I screw up. I hate winter a lot. I hate the cold. I hate going out to pick up kids and would rather sit in a running car for hours with the heat blasting than go to the gym or home and have to deal with the elements and a cold car. What a loser!
It's not like my life will be remarkably changed in 10 weeks when the weather begins to soften and the days are that much brighter. I have this stupid habit of projecting solutions to my life challenges into the future rather than just facing what IS NOW and dealing with it. What would happen if I went into the gym while the teen was at her appointment Thursday? Would it really be that bad? What if I stopped buying a latte every day and switched to tea? What if I followed the Julie plan? What if I cleaned out the crap from the house and bought enough veggies and meat to have on hand for real meals instead of grazing? What if I made my own dressing again? What if I was really hungry when I ate? What if I stopped eating snacks? WHAT IF???
I know I am capable. I know how great it feels to put on 'fresh-from-the-dryer' jeans and not fuss because they are so tight... I hate the way my clothes feel right now. The question is HOW MUCH DO I HATE IT? Do I hate it enough to throw the rest of the delicious homemade bread out? Do I love being thin enough to toss the bag of chocolates? Do I love it enough to say NO to dairy?
Today is an opportunity to do well by my self. Today is an opportunity to just do what I know will be best for my mind and my body. What will I do with this "opportunity"? What would you do?
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