The teen does not tolerate NO. If YES doesn't follow her question mark, watch out. After the dust settled last night she said "I have to win - I knew I shouldn't do it, but I had to..."
She had been to the mall twice this week, but tonight was my night to go out. She asked me to take her, and I said no. Then she told me that she had a ride and was going... A 21 year old boy, with her 16 year old boy friends would be picking her up... Not happening. She screamed, she cried, and she walked out the door... Consequences-summer trip to Detroit, camp, sailing... Take away Christmas - In that moment, she cared about nothing but getting her way. The girl can't tolerate NO.
I texted her as the car sped off. "You are not that girl" "this is not who you are" "I'll pick you up, call me please"... She called. "He's taking me back home."
She knows I expect so much of her. She knows what she's capable of doing. She's just got to figure out how to manage her "speed bump". She's got to figure out that her way is not the way. Self control, go with the flow... Deal with being disappointed or uncomfortable or bored... Hard work will get her through....
Now I just have to work hard to not let her issues become mine. I need to maintain a calm composure. I need to not feed into her emotions. I can't react to her instability. This helps no one.