Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Acceptance and Change

I have a friend who had a heart event. He eats right sometimes, exercises sometimes, but also gets the F-its and drinks a little too much, eats poorly and carries extra weight. He is 50. He has a stressful job. He has 2 small children. I pray he will be OK and I hope this is his wake up call - his opportunity to make some permanent changes to live a healthier life. I wonder if his friends and family will use his experience as their wake up call... like my DH.

We've had a few some maddening conversations lately which is why I've been so down on the DH about everything. He loves to blame all of his issues on a long commute and stressful work environment. He loves to blame his poor health on the fact that he sits all day slaving away in order to bring home the salary he does to support us and "our" lifestyle. It makes me crazy mad that this is ALWAYS his go to defense of why he is the way he is. Why there is no possible way he can change because I love his salary so much. And that is why I just can't talk to him about it anymore.

Instead I hope that the 4 calls to me yesterday to see if I'd heard anything are an indication of his concern and maybe, just maybe he's thinking... Until you accept responsibility for your actions, change can not happen.


Wendy said...

True words - only I am responsible for my own self. Only I can change me.
Sounds like a tough time/dynamic right now. Sorry for that. Here's hoping the coping tools that help and are healthy are available to you.

Wendy said...

Hi Lynne - I really relate to what you're going through. I've been that person your husband sounds like. I made major, major changes to my life in 2009 but it was incredibly scary, so much so it took me years to build up to. I hope you and your husband can find a better way forward; the current situation sounds like it really cannot go on. I mean, why just survive? We should all get to THRIVE. Thinking of you.