Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Eye on the Prize...

This is a tough one. I am desperately in need of an awesome weekend with my girlfriends.  It is an annual trip filled with laughter and fun that fills me up. I have known these people nearly all of my life and it's the one time each year that I truly feel free to be myself. To make this happen, I have to make sure that the family is well stocked, the schedule is posted and the DH is on board to parent. Sounds easy, but it’s not. I am so stressed out. My teen is having a tough week. Yesterday she was disrespectful to a teacher and earned three detentions as a result. She was sick last week and preoccupied with the school play. She fell behind in her schoolwork, missed a lot of classes and as a result she is overwhelmed. When this happens, she falls apart. She is not a bad kid.  Spring is also her “manic” season, so it’s kind of a “Perfect Storm” scenario. My DH does not get this. He feels that she is manipulating us, threatening to derail my trip if she doesn't get what she wants… I think there is something to that, but she’s still sick nonetheless. She’s so impulsive that I worry she will do something completely stupid or harmful (physically or socially) and will end up in the hospital… again.

I wish my life on no one. I wish her life on no one.

I am trying to keep it all together and not let her present state feed my emotions. It’s so hard and I have to admit I am faltering somewhat.  I want to transition off my meds (I really hate taking anything), but I decided this morning that it’s probably not a good idea right now.  I’ll just stay the course.

I am feeling bloated and unwell physically. I've had a few run-ins with sugar coated nuts….

This will do nothing to promote weight loss or health and only feeds my addiction (?) to sugar, which I’ve been craving nightly. It used to be that fruit was my only allowed sugar… What happened?

I have to regroup. I am going to spin tomorrow for sure and want to get outside today and walk my dog. It’s finally going to be above freezing and sunny at the same time!  Hopefully by noon the icy sidewalks will be down to concrete and I’ll get in a few miles. I know I will feel better for it. One more day closer to spring...

1 comment:

Wendy said...

Ugh, sugar. It's da worst for me. I only wish I'd realized earlier in my life just how toxic it is in my body. Sounds like it's toxic in yours, too, with triggering cravings! What has worked for you in the past (besides hypnosis, which I know you're waiting to do again) to defeat the cravings?