Sunday, April 19, 2015

The Hell That is Weight Gain...

So here I am, one year later, heavier by about 15-20 lbs. I don't have a scale, but I do know how my clothes fit (or don't) and I definitely can look in a mirror. I feel fat. I look fat. It is all I can see.

So here I am, two days from vacation and I'm still trying to find clothes that fit without investing in a new wardrobe of fat clothes. At EMS I bought a pair of Prana capris and EMS microfiber shorts. The shorts are a size 12 and don't fit; the capris are a size large and will barely work. UGH. I have no shorts that fit me!! I'll wear a dress or skirt to be presentable if it's warm and try to avoid throwing on yoga pants which is all I've wanted to wear for months.

So here I am, two weeks away from my refresher with the hypnotist. I have so much hope as well as a sense of desperation. This has to work. I can't keep gaining. I need to see some progress!  I need to feel that control I thought I'd mastered...

The thing is I know it was a hard winter. I know I have not been perfect in my eating plan. I have let nuts slip back into my diet. I have made too many trips to the drive thru for ice cream cones and lattes. I have stopped being mindful of my hunger... BUT... How is is possible for the weight to come on so fast; so much? I think at least part has to be thyroid related... I honestly don't eat any bread or processed grains... I don't eat rice... I don't eat potatoes... I don't eat candy or sugar (though I will eat a larabar... ) It doesn't seem right that I should be gaining still?!

I have to get to the bottom of this issue. I have a few other health things I need to address because I will have a good summer. I will get back into my shorts and feel good again. Every day is one day closer to where I want to be. I'll enjoy vacation. I'll keep doing what I'm doing and not quit. I know it will get better. It has to!!

1 comment:

Wendy said...

Yeah, weight gain is so frustrating, and disappointing, and all kinds of bad feelings. I hope you have a great time on vacation despite the clothes frustrations, and that the hypnotist appt helps you get back on track.