Sunday, May 24, 2015

Staying the Course, Trusting the Plan

I was tired this week, more so than usual. I still feel like I am on the verge of getting sick? I try not to think about it, and pretend it's all fine. I went to run with the sisters yesterday. It was hard, but again, no regrets for doing it. I went for a walk with the dogs, DH and tween. It was nice as well. I really dislike my job lately; it doesn't give me what I want professionally; it's tedious and I've been slacking. I really needed this long weekend break and I need a plan to break this apathetic phase - take a class - look for a job (no,not really an option) - find a new hobby...

My session with the parent coach this week really got me thinking about taking care of me and letting the teen be who she will be - flaws and f$%k - ups and all. As parents we want to save our kids from the embarrassment we faced, the stupid things we regretted, to redo what we had wished we'd done differently. The thing is our kids need to do the same stupid shit if they are to learn to be responsible, productive adults. We can provide boundaries. We can provide advice if asked, but we can't stop them from screwing up. The thing is we have to learn to back off and let what happens, happens. It can be sad to see, but it's necessary. I'm working on it every day.

I can't tell if I am losing any weight and it's hard to just keep trudging along, wondering. I know it's going to happen if I keep doing what I'm supposed to be doing, but I admit I've slipped a little. It is harder than it was the first time around .I will reel it in because I promised myself I would stay the course and trust the plan through the summer at a minimum. It has only been 3 weeks. I will give it time.

My big "screw ups" -
- Coconut Bliss - a pint of yummy coconut sorbet, all organic, but loaded with fat and cane sugar (not on the plan!). I don't even know why I bought it!?
- Coconut gelato at the mall - again, not on the plan.
- Plain yogurt (good), chia (good), but not a pint and not with maple syrup and vanilla; not on the plan.

I own it. I'll work harder. Today there is a cookout at my sisters. There will be lots of stuff there, but nothing I really feel tempted to eat - and lots I can eat - If I am hungry...

That's the thing - HUNGER - I will work on gauging what is boredom and what is genuine hunger. I know there have been many times over the last 3 weeks when there is eating without thinking...

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