I rarely go out. I have the greatest friends and only see them for a Saturday morning run, or during our annual weekend getaway. I have known them forever... like kindergarten, second grade... middle school. We are a core group of seven with 2 out of state. I love them so much. I love that I can really be myself. I love that they know and accept ME. There is no pretense.
My family makes it hard for me to go out. The DH is by his nature passive/aggressive and always makes me pay for my fun. In weekends past I have come home to new pets, furniture arrangements, major purchases. Nights out will leave me with a sink full of dishes or take out containers because what I prepared wasn't good enough. My kids have picked up on this as well. If there's a fight to be had it will happen minutes before I leave - or I'll get a million texts/calls to step in throughout the night. There is never a time where anyone invites me to "Have a great time! Don't worry about a thing! We'll be fine!"
Last night after a minor meltdown - the DH was late... waiting for traffic to die down... and one kid took something that didn't belong to her causing the other to explode and stomp out... I left and shut my phone off. I went to a cooking class with 3 girl friends and laughed. I had a yummy meal - I tried everything; drank wine and a cocktail, and even though I'm tired and sick with a red wine hangover... I feel good mentally. I am recharged.
No one asked me how my night was... I cleaned up the kitchen, got the girls up for school, ignored their moods and went to work. Today will be a great day.
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