Thursday, February 04, 2016

Beyond What is Possible, I Have No Control

I'm feeling kind of flat; still unmotivated; mentally exhausted. I've binge-watched nearly the entire last season of Downton Abbey and I'm not exactly sure what's going to pull me out of this - save springtime ... January was definitely a difficult month.

I don't know what the near future will hold, but I'm going to be OK.

I will take each day as a fresh start and an opportunity to do my best. I'm NOT doom and gloom; I'm NOT pie in the sky.  I know I have responsibilities and beyond what is possible, I have no control. This is my plan moving forward. Make my best effort to secure opportunity for my teen - education, therapy, but what she chooses to make of it is on her. I know there will be epic failure ahead and I pray that *something* will stick; something that's said will make a difference in her life, and help her get out of her way. She really is a beautiful person. She's just stuck.

I need to take care of myself and tend to the other relationships in my life. I need to practice my resolve and my coping skills.

I never knew that raising kids would be so hard. I knew there would be challenges, but I could never have imagined my life today.

And I still want to be healthy - age well, live strong.

I can do this.

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