Thursday, February 25, 2016

Learning to Let it Go

Yesterday was not a good day. The teen was verbally abusive, caused a scene at the doctor's office, and finished the day with her "user" friends smoking a cigarette.

I'm still trying to save her from my limits.

It's exhausting.

The little one is being 13. I could handle her antics, but coupled with the 16 year old; the night left me spent. I need to apologize for letting my emotions get the best of me.

I need to hear static when dealing with the 16 year old. She has burst of emotions when she feels stressed. She gets stuck on seemingly insignificant life events, wants, and rather than arguing with her I need to detach... It is so hard; especially when I am not at my best.

I need to let it go. Radical Acceptance. Thank you Sassy Pear.

I forgot that we bought tickets to a concert this Friday and I am stressed out. Both girls have expectations for Friday night involving me driving them. I don't want the teen to implement Plan B - a ride from whoever will drive her - especially since we'll be a few hours away. It's giving me a giant headache. WHY DO I FEEL SO BAD ABOUT TAKING A NIGHT OUT FOR ME?

I decided this morning to go back on an antidepressant. I've been fighting it for a while (I don't even know why) but I can stop that feeling that I'm going to cry with every human interaction. There has to be a better way - my way isn't working.

Still too many carbs... I chose some sample bars at Wegman's - lots of protein, but also too many carbs!!! Yesterday I stayed within my calories, 56% Fat, 20% Protein, 23% Carbs.....  I need to bring that Carb number into the teens...

Let's see what the day brings.

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