Week Eight - RESET - and the year of ME.

I tried to log food, but let's be honest - Girls' Weekend is about letting loose, having fun and not thinking one bit about diet or exercise or my family for that matter... I had fun and it felt so good to be MYSELF. My friends really care about me. We laughed so hard my face hurt. We didn't do anything exciting - lots of sitting around eating and drinking, but it was awesome to just let my self be in the moment and not worry...

The ladies threw a party - flowers, cake, presents... it really was unexpected. I knew we'd have drinks. I knew there would probably be a cake, but I didn't expect presents... It was overwhelming to have all the attention on me. I love my friends so much. We all went to high school together and some I've known since kindergarten. We've taken a weekend away for the last 19 years. Some people I see weekly; others just once a year, but when we are together it's just non-stop fun.  It fills me up.

And back to reality... The DH is not thoughtful or romantic or .... I don't usually get much for my birthday, but I honestly thought there would be something for my 50th... I came home expecting a card or flowers or even a "we're going out to dinner for your birthday," but there was nothing... I thought "Maybe they made me a cake and it's coming later... or maybe I'll hint and they'll run out and find a card," but nothing... At 9 o'clock DH came in the room saying "Do you feel old?!" and I said "I can't believe you did nothing, it really hurt me," to which he replied "What? I sent you a text!?" Wow. I'll file that with my first Mother's Day's "Why should I get you a present? - You're not my mother!". 

I don't know why I keep expecting something different from him and I don't know why I am hurt when I predict the outcome of events with 100% certainty. He is a good provider and that's definitely where he sees his role in our family; and I want more. It didn't start out like this and I would like it to be better. We need some serious marriage counseling.

Week 8 will be a reset. I feel bloated from sugar and carbs. I haven't had bread in YEARS and I ate it this weekend. I also ate cake and ice cream and drank a LOT of vodka and mixers (juice). Back to abstaining from alcohol and back to low carbs. The DH will be away on business for most of the week so I can clean the house out and start fresh. I'll get to the gym. It will be good. I want this year to be good for me. I want to take better self care and live well each day!