Wednesday, May 11, 2016

At Least it's Sunny...

And just when you think it can't get any worse...

I won't bore you with the shit storm. The teen is a mess. I feel utterly helpless to get her better. All the treatment in the world will do nothing for someone who can't take responsibility for their actions who lies to her therapist, who is a lying liar who lies to everyone including herself.

AND it's not my fault. AND it's not my life. AND I can't do it for her. SIGH...

I want my life to be my own. I know I will never stop worrying BUT I did not do this to her. I can not change her, and I truly am doing my best. I accept where I am right now, but I really want something more meaningful in my life. I don't know what it is...

I had such a good run last weekend. I was strong and made it most of the 5 miles walking only 3 times. Eating is a different story. I haven't been logging my food. I guess I'm still out of sorts. I need to wrap my head around health. The little one wants to do WHOLE30. I think it's just what the doctor ordered. I just need to clean out the house, refresh my memory and restock.

I'm getting my steps in most days. I'm going to enjoy the weather!


To really live is to become willing to lose people, places, things, dreams, even to lose versions of ourselves that no longer serve us. And in place of what is lost, something new emerges. It may not be what we imagined; but it is beautiful and it is ours.


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