Monday, August 01, 2016

Feeling 'Oh So Fat' and trying hard to be positive....

I know negative self talk is bad. I know it doesn't help with weight loss or self esteem or overall wellness; and yet I can't help but compare the picture of me at the summit, with my "after" photo on the right. Meh.

It's not as bad as "before", but I would dare say it's close...

I didn't weigh in last week. I just wasn't feeling it - well, actually I just wasn't eating well and didn't want to see a gain. There was a lot of slacking because, well... I climbed a mountain so I totally deserved homemade peanut butter cookies and an entire bag of veggie chips... with dip.... and other mindless snacks. After dropping the kids at camp yesterday I went home and ate my way through 2 Jason Bourne movies and justified the sit-fest because it was rainy and I was doing laundry... yup... I've logged my food (or as much as I remember) and I'm 30 points over for this week... I face the music Wednesday! I need to get a grip!!

The kids are gone for 2 weeks and I need to FOCUS on me and health and getting back into a routine.

I am STILL freakishly tired and unmotivated... I finally went to get my blood drawn this morning to check the thyroid numbers... It is really frustrating for me to know what I am capable of and not have the energy to do anything... I haven't taken out the bike once this summer!! I *NEED* a nap every afternoon... It feels like I did when I was in my first trimester of pregnancy... when you just can't go on without sitting and closing your eyes for just a moment... just 5 more minutes.... just til the big hand is on the 12.... and then it's an hour or two later...

It's debilitating!!

I need to paint the bathroom. I need to clean the basement. I need to organize the pantry in the kitchen and wash windows... I need to call friends and get out of the house while I am FREE of kids... I need to make healthy dinners... I need to get back to NORMAL for me... I'm strong and resilient and ready for challenges. The way I am now is not the me I want to be... I can do better. I can be better.

No comments: