Thursday, May 18, 2017

Every Day...

This morning was a little better than yesterday. I know bodies fluctuate, but geez... I'm still showing a 6.8 pound gain overall, and I'm not happy about it.

And it is what it is. I own what I ate. I made lots of bad choices and knew I gained, but I avoided the scale and that made it worse. Isn't it always the case?

I just feel so frustrated. I have a good day, then 2 bad ones... I just can't seem to get into the flow - and we all know what that means. It's not that weight loss becomes effortless; there's still planning and there are always challenges, but it's like something clicks and there's a consistency; a smug motivation that invites NOs to ice cream without the slightest hesitation.

And weight loss - consistent weight loss in pounds, not ounces.

I hate that so much of my life has been focused on the fat. It changes so much about how I feel inside and sends the wrong message to the outside world. Regardless of how confident you think you are; all it takes is a "look" and you know you're being judged.  Pretend you don't care. You care.


Anonymous said...

Lots of tough issues here. I'm going to go out on a limb and say - other people judging you is THEIR problem, not yours. Your weight is none of their business. They have no idea of the positive things going on for your body and your health that you do, like the consistent walking and exercise.

Really this is about YOU judging you, or at least it's where I want things to be, where only my own judgment about me counts. And also, that judgment is about more than a number on the scale.

Understanding, too, and supporting, that yes, you do want to shed fat. But it's just one piece of the puzzle, it's not the be-all and end-all and the status of that is certainly not your value.

Enz said...

Wow. I really like what fitteratfortyish wrote in response to your post. I'm sorry you're struggling and I wish I had some wise words to offer.

Lynne said...

Tough words - definitely took them to heart. This is a journey for sure and has way more to do than appearance. Thanks for your honesty. It's really important to face it head on and do something about it. It is difficult to accept and love your body and your self and your decisions without judgement and negativity. I'll continue to try.