ME Day... (or at least ME 5 hours...)

Last day of "full day" camp for the summer. I managed to clean the whole house and get the laundry situation under control. It would really be nice if I could have a quick infusion of cash to take care of the broken stove, clothes dryer, my need for new towels - Oh and then there's the roof, painting and a new driveway... incidentals... I guess there is never enough money, but looking at how OTHER people live and knowing what we earn as I family, I don't understand why there isn't more at the end of the day.

My back is feeling about 75%. It no longer hurts to get out of bed or into the car, but I doubt that I would be able to ride my bike yet without some serious pain. I have my last tri of the season next weekend and hope that I can at least participate (no PRs anticipated).

I am now off to Target to buy a new bra... my last good one got stuck in the dryer :( What a lovely way to spend ME day...

Being apathetic... Trying to move on...

My back is still tweaked, but I am going to test the toe this morning as I indulge in a much needed pedicure. It's my treat of the week, so I hope it won't hurt?! The dog is also desparate for a walk so at least I will get in a little "exercise", and I am tackling the upstairs today (kids rooms, my room, bathroom) and that has to count for something.

My sister went back and joined WW again. I have this secret jealousy thing with her... I always fear that she will find the elusive key to losing weight and I will be left behind --- fat, alone. Of course I wish her the best, but I too want to make sure it's a priority in my life again; It hasn't been for much of the summer. I am eating healthy foods, but not concerning myself too much with portion control and this is a problem. I have not journaled and I have not even weighed myself (hard to know how I am doing if I don't know where I am). Everyone has issues in their lives, so I won't blame my apathy on that... I really just need a kick in the butt!

I overheard an exchange at Danskin this weekend. A woman stated that she had to sign an additional waiver at the race because she was an active cancer patient with an open port for chemo. She did not want to miss the race as she'd been doing this for the past five years as a survivor -- and now the cancer came back... "What could they possibly be worried about? That racing in this lake is going to kill me? HA!" Everyone has issues, and apathy does not have to play a part. In fact, adversity can make you stronger. I've got a lot to think about... I've got to move away from the "dark side" of life, and put some lessons into practice.

Recovering....

I haven't exercised this week because of a sore toe and my aching back. I've been icing and using aleve. I think it's getting better and I may make it to spin tomorrow morning (I hope).

I am really trying to make a dent in my house chores. I am going to call for a dumpster today!! If I could end the month with a clean basement and all the junk out of the house I would be extremely happy and the stress would most definately decrease. Right now I feel as though I am drowning. Besides that I need an infusion of happiness. My DH hates his job. When he's home all he does is complain about the job and the politics. I feel like an emotional tampon. He keeps bringing junkfood into the house and complains that our daughter is getting fat. (He's gained about 25lbs this year, on top of the 40 or so he needed to lose at the start). He is "embarrassed" about the state of the house, yet does nothing by way of chores... Right now there is not option for meaningful dialogue. He'd blow up in a rage of self pity, paint me as the nagging ungrateful wife and storm out. It's happened before and I can do without the drama so I say nothing. I do the best I can. It's a weird dynamic.

I have to take care of myself and my kids and hope that DH can work on his issues and realize that it's better to be a part of a family.

Nice to know...

I got the most beautiful flower arrangement yesterday from one of my very best friends. We were talking about challenges this winter and I talked her into registering for Danskin. She was very reluctant and I honestly thought she would bail, but she did not. She trained really hard, joined the Y and their tri team, and finished. She's pretty overweight and hoping not to be, but I kept telling her to do it with the body she had and not wait til the stars align...

I was completely overwhelmed by her sentiment (I guess I am a little emotional). It's nice to know that I really was a mentor to someone who appreciated it.

My toe is feeling better; my back is a mess. I am icing and taking aleve. I am trying to do light stretches lying on the floor. I am getting around, but it seems like one little tweak and the pain is un worldly... I know it will get better. TIME HEALS.

One month til school starts. I love my kids, but summer is getting old fast. I really crave a predictable schedule.

Quick Update...

The kids are in their first day of camp. I have from 9-3 each day to get the house back together. This morning I stacked wood, mowed the lawn and cleaned out the shed (we filled in our pool 7 years ago and I still had filter parts and assorted broken pool toys....)

DANSKIN TRIATHLON - PR for me!! WOO HOO! I owe it all to smooth transitions, a really fast ride and sub 12 minute miles on the run. Roughly 13:20 swim, 2:43 transition 1, 44 min cycle, 2:30 transition 2 and 34:11 run.... Total time was 1:38:04

It makes me realize that I can be faster if I train and if I talk positively to myself during the race. I had fun!!!

As we readied for a post-race lunch at my sister's house, I stubbed my toe getting out of the shower and now I can't put a shoe on.... My next race is in 2 weeks!! I also over exerted myself this morning (stacking wood) and my back is messed up!!! Pathetic

Vacation was mixed - too much rain, too much togetherness, too much money spent and I am stressed. My house is a disaster... I am trying to stick to a plan for the week so I don't waste my precious time alone spinning my wheels...

Diet SUCKS. I need a major kick in the butt!

I think I need a lesson in Bike Maintenance

I bought a new bike last year - It's a Trek Pilot 2.1. It's a road bike, but not a racing bike though I've made it one. I want to have it for a while and figured the benefits (the set up is supposed to help people with lower back issues) would be better whether or not I continue with triathlon. I got some aerobars for Christmas and even if they don't really make me faster, I feel faster and that's what counts.

So here's the deal. I know I needed a tune up; my chain had dropped on me a number of times and was rubbing on the derailer. I know I needed new brake pads. A tune up at the shop was 69 or 99 dollars. It's a new bike with maybe 700 miles or so and I figured 69 was fine for what I needed. So the guy takes my bike and puts it on the stand. He immediately pull a single tool from his pocket and returns a few seconds later and declares that the chain is stretched and I'll need a new one... I got a case of the ICK factor, that kind of feeling that someone's taking you for a ride... I bought the chain and I feel awful... My 69 dollars ended up being $130.00. I hate not knowing. I hate that I had to rely on someone that I did not trust. I think I need a bike maintenance class or a Chiltons for road bikes or something that I can consult when that ick feeling starts creeping in...

Aches and Pains...

After a week of teaching swimming and a brutal spin class this morning, my body aches. My shoulders hurt from demonstrating proper body position and stroke (I don't normally do the back stroke b/c my shoulder is so bad), and my hips (mostly right today?) ache from spinning... I stretched, took some aleve and will hope it gets better. My last set of lessons start in an hour. I can't tell you how much I look forward to 11:30!

I have so much laundry and packing to do... I am starting to get that icky overwhelming feeling of pre-vacation illness.... which I think has manifested itself in a giant teenage like pimple on my chin!

Three days and counting...

I've been paid to give 6 swimming lessons to 12 kids and I have 3 days left. I have SO much to do to get ready for vacation this Saturday, so using my only kid-free hours to teach someone elses is really bugging me this week. Not to mention that 4 of the 12 kids are criers that are too big to be carry on the way they do and the parents feed it... I think they all need a spanking (parents included)or at least a firm speaking to...

I did not go to spin this morning:( I need to go swimming. I need to bring my bike to the shop. I need a kick in the butt!!!

Training partners can make all the difference!

APATHY has been my mantra and that is NOT very productive. I haven't felt like doing anything training related and it was a godsend that I had came home Saturday night to the following voicemail message: " I know we don't usually work out on Sundays, but I need to ride my bike and I don't really want to go alone. We could meet halfway and do a fast 15; maybe a run. Let me know..." I hesitated for a moment, but called and set a time. I went. We rode on a now favorite training course. It's a four lane highway that is hardly used, that connects two rural towns (7.5 miles). It has a wide shoulder, it's nearly a straight shot and has rolling hills. The pavement is in great condition, and I think we say a dozen cars in our 45 minute ride. It makes a huge difference training b/c there are no roads to cross or stop signs to slow you down. It also makes a difference in your speed when you can see that there is nothing in front of you but road.

We ran for 30 minutes after the bike (15 downhill and 15 up). I am not surprisingly sore this morning and my back is a little tight. I am still not used to staying in the aero position. I think I need more core work.

My diet still sucks and I am still thinking about SouthBeach. I would like to do SOMETHING, ANYTHING that would move me in the right direction. I don't want to blow it...I have come so far... I can finally see my goal... Why am I letting this mindless, thoughtless eating creep back in?

Swim Clinic and South Beach

I took a week off from swimming and man did it show as I jumped into a quick lap at the lake before the start of an early morning swim clinic. I was the lifeguard so I pretty much served as a floating buoy for 2 hours. The chill went right to my bones and even a hot shower didn't quite bring me back to normal...

I only ran once at my Mother in law's house. I could have done more, but everything seemed like a production and not worth the effort. I need to ride my bike tomorrow; perhaps I can get my DH to come with me since my kids will be a Grandma's tonight..... We'll see how his birthday celebration progresses tonight. I know I am having some wine. My training program seems to have taken a nose dive as of late... Apathy since my Olympic Distance race...

I think I am going to try the Southbeach Diet. I rarely follow a plan and rely more on journalling and calorie counting. I am told it will make a difference in the rate of weight loss. I haven't been on the scale, but I know that I have gained at least a few pounds over the last month. I need to stop it NOW, I don't want to start over. I don't know why summer is such a hard time on the food front. You would think with all that is fresh it would be easy... Maybe the mojitos have something to do with it?

A butt kicking

For the last 4 years, my friend Sara has been biking, while I focused on triathlon and running distance. We went riding this morning after a long hiatus and she KICKED my BUTT! Man, I feel like it is day one all over again. I am sore and exhausted!!! I was out of breath the whole time as she whistled up the hills; la - dee - da! She was always stopping to wait for me I felt bad, like I wrecked her workout. It was more than humbling, and I felt FAT.

However, in the end, it was nice to gain a little perspective... like I can do a whole lot better and work a whole lot harder. There are reasons why in-shape people have trainers -- because they push them out of their comfort zones, they make them go a little harder... I honestly asked myself this morning (huffing and puffing) if I was having fun or not... The answer was that I was not having any fun at all..... THIS SUCKS! is more the truth. I want to embrace the hill, I want to love the hill, I just was not feeling it this morning. I know there will be more workouts like this, but I know they are not all like this. I hope my next one will be uplifting...The kind where you feel strong and happy in the end.

Off to my in-laws...

UGH ---- Rain !

I took to working out at the gym today. I could not bear to run in the rain (and thunder!) Will it ever be summer here? I am beginning to doubt it.

I have been having a hip/knee issue since last Saturday. It feels fine, then I'll step and then WOW shooting pain down my leg from hip to knee. My sister thinks I over did it on the bike and suggested some stretches... I did some stretches and thought I'd try a little elliptical and a little running for about 4 miles. I then did about 15 minutes in the pool to cool down. There was little effort, I guess I just wasn't feeling it today. At least my hip/knee doesn't feel any worse post workout.

I will spin tomorrow whether I want to or not... I am going to my in-laws Saturday morning and between the visiting and the 9+ hours to get there, I will be glad that I was able to get some workouts in this week. I'm bringing my sneakers (and my dog) so I can excuse myself from time to time to catch a break... We'll be home Wednesday if I get my way. Next week I'm guarding at a Friday swim clinic, working out with my siblings and getting a few hours at the library. Busy is good, but can be overwhelming at times. I know I won't truly be able to relax until July 18th, the first day of our REAL vacation ---- Beach and hopefully SUN!!! please......